Monday, May 11, 2009

Men: How to be Sexy

Ok yeah, I know, I'm on a bit of a Craig Ferguson kick at the moment.  I do that, you'll get used to it.  But because I've been watching a lot of his stuff online lately, I get to find gems like the video below.  It's totally worth watching for the whole 8+ minutes, I'm quite sure you won't regret it:

Now, aside from the absolutely fantastic message Mr Ferguson is sending here with this monologue, I want to talk about sexiness and attractiveness.  Watching this video above, this man is one of the sexiest I have seen in a long time.  I swear, he really does it for me.

Now, recently, a male friend said somewhat disdainfully to me "Women bitch about men always being superficial, but they're only after Brad Pitt and George Clooney."


Some women are, yes.  But those women aren't after a man they can the spend the rest of their life with.  They want the pretty man right now.  They're not going to hang around as he ages and his looks fade.

Here's what I want.  I want a man who makes me laugh so hard I pee.  I want a man who laughs at himself, at the absurdity of life, but never at the expense of vulnerable people.  I want a man who has a brain and isn't afraid to use it and show it, but doesn't sneer at other people as somehow being less than him because he's intelligent.  I want a man who has the balls to speak up when he sees something is not right.  I want a man who thinks of others, and how his actions might affect them.  I want a man who cares.  Not in a "snag" kind of way, all "I feel your pain honey", but one that gives a shit about people around him and in the world.  I want a man who takes responsibility for himself, his life and the lives of his dependants.  I want a man who isn't intimidated by a woman who has an opinion, isn't intimidated by a woman who is proud of her achievements and who is responsible for herself and her actions.  I want a man who is into a woman for who she is, not for fleeting looks and perky tits.  In short, a man who is good.

Here's what I find sexy...


Jamie Hyneman is sexy.  He's uber-intelligent, has a great sense of humour, and has no tolerance for fools.


Chris Garver is sexy.  He's talented, humble, smart and known for teaching others his craft.


William McInnes is sexy.  He's down-to-earth, intelligent, has a great sense of humour and is a devoted family man.

And these are just a few who I find sexy.  None of them are pin-up-boy pretty, but they're all men who are comfortable in their masculinity, but don't need to posture and pose to prove it.  They're men who are who they are, and that is sexy.

In fact I can think of only one famous man that I find sexy that IS pin-up boy pretty.  Behold!


Yes, good old Hugh Jackman.  The bastard, he ruins it for all mere mortal men.  But what makes him sexy isn't just the outside package (though that is rather nice), it's that he's such a bloody nice bloke.  Loving husband and father, talented in many forms, nice bloke, smart, sense of humour, thoughtful, and willing to have a go at anything.  I do have a theory that he is either a mutant or a serial killer, because really, one man can't be that perfect.

But anyway, back to my point.  Sexy isn't about a pretty outside wrapper.  Sexy is about the man within.  I've dated pretty men, and they turned out to be not very sexy at all, in that they were arseholes.  No bigger turn off than a jerk, that's for sure.  Besides, pretty fades eventually and if that's all you've got...

Fellas, you want to be attractive to the ladies?  Then be a man from the inside out.  Nothing turns this woman (and I dare say many more women - holla back ladies in the comments if you're with me) on more than a man who is man enough to be respectful, intelligent, gentle, honest, thoughtful, fun and most of all a GOOD person.


Tim said...

Wow, that's a very well detailed little article. I'm scared of being a man now, and in a good way!

Sleepydumpling said...

But you shouldn't be scared Tim. If you just be yourself, treat people well and use your brain, that's EASY!

Jo said...

really enjoyed this post - well actually I enjoy them all- but this ones resonates. I am hoping Mr 14 will one day grow up to be this sort of man.

Katagal Kapers said...

Yep, you're singing my tune! In fact, that was what I put in my header in some dating profiles - Wanted - a good bloke!
With most of the attributes that you described. Pretty doesn't grab me, never has, however a resonant voice and callused hands, and my toes start curling
I like a bloke that hangs with kids, loves his mum and dependents and isn't scared to walk his talk
and if he can match me wit for wit - well i am sunk
The're a rare species but I know they are out there being good blokes and getting on with things

Nerd of the Library said...

I agree with your sentiments, Kath. I like my BF because he never criticizes people and is helpful to others.I think I got a bonus extra in him being stunningly gorgeous as well. Many people can be shallow about what they expect from a man, but I think you are being realistic, grounded and fair. It was a pleasure to read your post today.

Tanya said...

I'm with you all, but must say, that I am completly uphopeful of finding any usefully unattached versions that are interested in me. They seem as rare as hens teeth (in my iopinion I've seem one in the last 15 years) and are usually so lovely they're in long-term relationships already. It would be really interesting to hear from some menfolk how they view this impassioned sppeech and if they think that what we are all obviously wanting is overly unreasonable or over-optimistic.....

Flibbertigibbet said...

I'm absolutely with you on this.
One of the sexiest men I've ever seen has to be Bruce Parry. He's not only, to me and most of my female friends, absolutely beautiful to look at, with his wrinkly eyes that say he's spent most of his life smiling, but he also has so many other qualities. He's sincerely interested in others, learning their ways and ideas, he's respectful, intelligent and clearly a lot of fun, whilst also being manly. Delicious!

Sleepydumpling said...

I'm not familiar with Bruce Parry... hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Google I go!

Anonymous said...

William McInness and Hugh Jackman in the one post - heaven on a stick.
Thank you Kath, as usual a great blog.

Sleepydumpling said...

I do my best Kate, I do my best!