Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Why I Don't Work In Customer Service Any More

I've just found this brilliant blog.  It is called Not Always Right, and it's where people can submit really stupid or rude things customers have said or done to them.

I've just spent the past couple of hours reading some of the latest entries and hurting myself laughing.  Here are a few of  my favourite gems:

Customer: “What time does the film start?”

Me: “The film starts fifteen minutes after the time on your ticket. There are fifteen minutes of ads and trailers.”

Customer: “No, I said what time does the F-I-L-M start?!”

Me: “The film starts after fifteen minutes of trailers, so fifteen minutes after whatever it says on the ticket. Your ticket says 3:30 pm, so the film would start at 3:45, okay?”

Customer: “Don’t blind me with science!


Me: “Hello, ma’am, is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “Yes. I need to find a book on rodents.”

Me: “Rodents?”

Customer: “Yes, I have some little creature running around my garage and I need to know what it is. I think it might be a vulva.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “You know, it’s small and looks like a mole or a hamster. A vulva.”

Me: “I think you mean a ‘vole’.”

Customer: “Oh right, that’s it. Do you have any books on voles?”


Me: “Welcome to ****, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a medium coffee with twenty-seven and a half sugars.”

Me: “I’m sorry, was that…twenty-seven and a half?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “You’re sure you don’t just want the twenty-eight?”

Customer: “Ewww, gross! That’d be too sweet.

This is exactly why I left working in the library branches.  I can't be nice to fucktards like these.


Flibbertigibbet said...

Oh my god, I have spoken to people like this.
I used to work for British Telecom, on the faults line, except the phone book had us listed under "Repairs".
So people would ring to ask about shoe repairs, tv repairs, washing machine repairs.
Although we also had a regular that called to complain that the lights on the nearby main road affected the flight of his model aircraft.
There was also the woman who refused to deal with Asian engineers because she asserted they made her eyes change colour.

Then I worked in dentistry.
One guy was given specific instructions to eat bland foods. No beetroot, coffee or curry until his temporaries had been replaced with proper veneers.
He knew better of course and came back a few days later, after a curry, with teeth a lovely bright, bright yellow shade. Not unlike that of a post-it.
What can you do?
I think it's justifiable homicide, but the law disagrees. Damn it.
Oh and I won't go into detail about the guy whose dentures got melted so he coloured them in with tippex......

Nerd of the Library said...

all i can say is... thank god there are some likeminded ppl out there. i could have an all-day daily blog devoted to this issue.

Claudia said...

Oh, I love that blog...I tend to read it in my lunch break at work and people think I'm crazy when I'm laughing at my computer...hmmm...who cares, right???
By the way thanks for recommending the dentist over on twitter...I'll definitely get an appointment in the next few weeks...will report back :)