Friday, April 04, 2008

Cleansing Tears

"Tears are the words the heart cannot express."

Isn't that pretty? I can't find the source of the quote, but it was mentioned on a web forum that I belong to this week, and it has completely resonated with me.

I think too many people are ashamed of crying. They feel that it's a sign of weakness, or emotional imbalance. Yes, it can be if one cries too often or in the wrong place and time, but mostly it's our way of expressing things that we're unable to express in words alone.

Plus I am now a firm believer in that any emotion, forced down, denied or bottled up is only going to hang around FAR longer than it would if you just let it slide by, let it wash through. Holding back is only going to make the emotion worse.

I can cry at the drop of a hat. I cry at toilet paper ads with puppies in them. Once when I was teasing a friend for crying at his wedding, he retorted "What are you talking about? You cried in Toy Story." Yes, I did.

I find when I'm a little buzz-headed, stressed or anxious, a good cry is cathartic. My personal favourite is to put on a good movie that gets the tears flowing and let it all out. The Colour Purple is my weep inducing movie of choice, but there are others. Sometimes a good book can do that too. Audrey Niffenegger's The Time Traveller's Wife made me cry so hard I got a migraine and vomited. It devastated me. Beautiful book.

But having a cry because you are sad or hurt or grieving is ok too. I had a good cry yesterday, all over a dear friend who for a bloke, handle's a woman's tears very well. He's a master tear mopper. I felt so much better for being able to express my hurt and frustration in such an honest manner with him too. He knew that just listening, then a hug and a kiss would make me feel a million times better.

I think tears are very important to us. Not just women either, it's sad that men are so often taught that they are weak or un-masculine if they shed tears, or even let anyone see them shed tears. I can tell you now, the quickest way for me to turn to mush over a man is for him to trust me enough to cry in front of me!

So next time you feel the need to cry, express those words from the heart. It will do you good!


Anonymous said...

Hear Hear Kath, Tears, chocolate and a good movie or book should be mandatory in a womans life.
There are no rules that state one should be happy ALL the time. There are things in life that are sad so acknowlege them, deal with them and not be ashamed that emotions are a GOOD thing. Off my soap box now

Queen Etherea said...

beautiful quote! and i totally concur. sometimes, a good cry is just what the shattered soul needs in order to heal.

Girl Clumsy said...

Hi Kath,

The Wah only just told me you actually have a blog. I didn't realise - but now I know, I'll check back regularly!

Cheers, Natalie.

Sleepydumpling said...

Strangely enough I've had a blog since like September 2006... and the Wah has known since at least August last year about it... he's such a... squid!

I must check in on yours again! I'll add it to my feeds.

Anonymous said...

Tears cannot be suppressed successfully! Try as I might I fail each time - I have been told the secret is to press the roof of your mouth with your tongue and the tears will not well up! Will have to try next time
But in all seriousness a good weep is extremely cathartic and I find if i do suppress it I wake up crying in my sleep! Suppressed emotions will always always surface

BruganCampbell said...

Great quote, thanks for sharing, have not seen that one before.

I too believe in a good cry, sob, howl. Cleanses the soul and helps you move on (mostly).