Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Does This Bother Anyone Else?

Is anyone else bothered by the whole Wayne Carey saga? For those of you outside of Australia, Wayne Carey is an Australian Rules Football player who has a long history of womanising (he had an affair with a teammate's wife, the same teammate who was supposed to be his best friend), had a history of abuse and infidelity with his wife, and now is in the news for violence towards his current girlfriend, including allegedly glassing her in the face in Florida. He has admitted to a drug problem (cocaine at least) and has been arrested more than once for violent outbursts.

Now the hoo-ha is all over the papers because the major media are paying this cretin money for his "story". One of the major women's magazines here has paid him a huge sum of money, reportedly $180,000, his girlfriend too for their story. His girlfriend has come out and said that he's "not abusive" and that their relationship troubles are "her fault". Sounds like the victim of domestic violence to me, don't you think?

Now Andrew Denton is having him on Enough Rope (Australian interview show) to tell his story too. That REALLY bothers me, because Andrew Denton is known for being a sensitive, thoughtful interviewer, and why he would have this cretin on his show really boggles my brain.

There are massive advertising campaigns in Australia directing both men and women to speak out AGAINST domestic violence, but now major media players are paying a man who is famous for abusing his partners to give his story. How is this giving a positive message to the victims/survivors of domestic violence, when this man is being rewarded for his disgusting behaviour? How is this telling the perpetrators of domestic abuse of any kind that their behaviour is not acceptible?

As the child of a domestic abuse situation, it makes me sick. My father is completely unable to admit the fact that he was abusive towards his wife and children. Because there was always someone to make an excuse for him. If not himself, then someone else around him. Oh he was a Vietnam veteran. He suffered depression. He was an alcoholic. He hated his job. He was unhappy. He came from an abusive family himself. And the list goes on.

But the truth is, so long as anyone makes excuses for these pigs and their behaviour, they're going to continue it, and other men are going to decide it's acceptible for them to behave in this manner too. There are many, many good men out there who have just as many hardships in their lives that DON'T choose to inflict this abuse on their families and partners. And more than anything, we need to appreciate these good men, and they need to speak out against domestic violence as much as they can so that the other scum know that it's not acceptible and that there IS NO EXCUSE.

And we need to speak out with our money and choices too. Don't buy those magazines that pay these cretins for their stories. Don't watch the interviews on television. And when people start to talk about it, say out loud "He's disgusting and there is no excuse for domestic violence, EVER."

Until we do just that, often and loud, these poor excuses for men are going to continue terrorising the people they are supposed to love.

Being a man does not mean showing no emotion but anger. Being a man does not mean expressing yourself with your fists, or your foul words, or by controlling your partner and family emotionally, sexually, financially, socially or physically.

Being a man means showing that you love your family and partner. Being a man means expressing yourself in a respectful manner. Being a man means accepting responsibility for your actions. Being a man means admitting you are wrong sometimes.

If you know someone who is a good man, tell him so. Let's encourage these guys!

For help in Australia with domestic violence, go to: http://www.australiasaysno.gov.au/


Queen Etherea said...

amen to that! you know my recent experiences with abuse. it is a terrible thing that no woman should have to live through. it does not discriminate against age, socioeconomic status, education, etc. the repercussions of domestic abuse are far-reaching and go deeper than the bruises which fade all too quickly. for anyone to glorify such behaviour is to condone it; that in my mind is positively sinful.

Kerri said...

Hear Hear Kath, I applaud your verbosity in this instance! I was blessed with a Dad who was/is a good man with his own faults but he never raised a hand to anyone other than self defence!
I am a strong capable woman in part due to his encouragement and faith in me and I will not settle for a partner merely not to be alone, I will seek but if I should not find I will have a happy life nonetheless as a single vital woman
I am WOMAN hear me ROAR
Love Kerri

VivC said...

Yes! I agree 100% with everything you said.