Fake it 'Til You Make It

You may have heard the phrase "Fake it 'til you make it." before. Often people use it in reference to a subject matter they're supposed to know about, or as a show of confidence when they feel they don't have any.

I use it in another way though. I use it when I'm struggling with depression.

I've had some wobbles again over the past week, mostly because I've pushed myself too hard and not got enough sleep. I know that when I get really busy with work and my social life, that I don't sleep enough, and then I tend to fall over in a bit of a heap. It used to be really hard to deal with, but these days I treat it the same as I would getting physically run down - I take some time to rest and relax, and take care of myself with eating well, drinking lots of water and getting some fresh air.

There is one other thing I know helps. Faking it until I make it. Instead of spending my down times shut up avoiding the world, I try to connect with it instead. Even though I don't feel like it, I know in the long run, it helps me shake off the black dog.

Whether that is virtually or in reality, it doesn't matter. Spending time online immersed in upbeat, fun stuff (whether it's conversations on Twitter, watching videos on YouTube, surfing around Tumblr, etc) really helps, especially if you're like me and have run yourself into the ground physically, and need to chill a wee bit. But if you're physically ok, getting out is good too. Whether it be with friends or family, or even on your own. I will carry myself off to a movie if I want to get out and about but can't catch up with people.

I know that quite often when depression hits, you just don't feel like getting out. It's hard enough to get out of bed, let alone out of the house. But it is something that will make you feel so much better, if you get yourself doing something that makes you feel good. And if you don't know what that is, try some new things, you might surprise yourself.

All in all, remember the phrase "Fake it 'til you make it." and try it when you find yourself dogged by the depression fairy. I know it works for me.

Inky Business

I have to tell you a little story about something that happened to me a few months ago.

Now, let me just tell you, I have tattoos.  Three in fact.  Two of them are rather noticeable, those two being the most recent ones I had done.  On the top of my left foot there is a big pink lotus flower.  On the inside of my right forearm, I have a kind of balloon heart with a string in pinks.  I also have a Gary Larson "Far Side" cow on my back, above my  left shoulderblade, but people don't normally see that one.  I do intend to get more tattoos in the future.

So anyway, about three or four months ago, I got in the lift at work, and there was a woman already in there.  For a moment she looks down at my foot, and I feel her look me up and down.  I'm wearing tailored navy pants, a turquoise top, low heeled court shoes and those fishnet "socks" (for wearing under pants).  No wild outfits, no wacky hair-do's, just you're average local government corporate worker.

So she looks at my foot again and says "Is that a real tattoo?"  I smile and say "Oh yes, it is." (she isn't smiling).  She replies "Did you get that when you were young and stupid." in a tone that implies only people who are young and stupid would get tattoos.  My smile is now gone, and I say in a flat tone "No, I got it three months ago." to which she replies "Oh..." and hurries out of the lift.

Unfortunately there are still people in the world that assume that having tattoos is either a massive mistake you have made when you're young, or you're some kind of trouble making rough neck.  People don't realise that just like clothing or jewellery, they're a form of self expression, only ones that are permanent.  Part of you.  They can't understand that a mature, hard-working, intelligent person would choose to get something permanently marked on their body.  They're also the kind of people that can't see tattoos as works of art.

When I was planning my two latest tattoos, I told a colleague (who has tattoos herself) that I planned to get the one on my foot done to cover most of the top of my foot.  She suggested that I opt for something smaller so that "You can cover it up."  I kind of wonder what the point of getting a tattoo is if you have to cover it up and hide it away from the public eye.  It's not like I have some pornographic or violent image tattooed on me, it's a beautiful lotus flower.  I'm proud of it, I love the artwork of both it and the one on my arm and I WANT them to be seen.

I understand wanting to have something tattooed in an intimate area that is special for only yourself and your partner perhaps to know about, but I don't understand tattooing the rest of the body only to cover it up because of what other people might think.

My tattoos are part of me, and they do reflect on my personality, but not in any negative way.  They're items of beauty, they're symbols that reflect who I am, and if people don't like to see the art on my arm or my foot, that is THEIR problem, not mine.  It would be different if the designs were something offensive, like sexual or violent images, but it's a flower and a heart balloon.  Get over it people - it's just INK!

Do you have tattoos?  Are they somewhere that can be seen in everyday wear?  Or have you got them somewhere that you cover them up?  If you cover them up, why?  And have you had any negative experiences because of other people's attitudes towards your tattoos?

You'd Betta Work!

Why is it infinitely more exhausting to teach someone your job than to just do it yourself?

At the moment, 'Berto is on two week's leave. We have the lovely Luke in to help out, and instead of totally freaking him out with 'Berto's job, we've kind of mashed his job and mine together, I'll do all the complex bits that take a long time to kind of get into, and Luke is doing the bits I can just show him how to do and let him run with it.

He's great, picking things up at lightning speed, using lots of common sense and is really keen to have a go.

But I'm worn down to a nub! It's exhausting me to explain what I do and step out how I do it. Mostly because I'm not used to actually thinking about it, I just get in there and chug along and do what needs to be done.

It's good though, because it highlights just how complex the work that we do is. Plus I love the opportunity to "convert" people into understanding why we harp on about the things we harp on about. When seen from our perspective, it's understood that we're not being pedantic, or making procedures and policies just for something to do. When you're the one who has to correct hundreds of records in a database every week, you start to get a bit narky about people not entering them correctly in the first place. When you have to track down millions of dollars worth of assets, following procedural steps to receipt new stock and dispose old stock is of vital importance.

I booked some leave for March today. Three whole weeks off work, which the boss has approved. I don't plan to do a real lot, spend some time with my Grandparents but the rest shall be swanning about doing all the things I seem to never have enough time to do. Lots of reading, some socialising, some relaxing, some movies... just generally recharging the batteries.

Bring on March I say!

100 Things To Do Before You Die

This is a bit of a blog meme doing the rounds. I don't in any way think that you should HAVE to do anything, but these are things you could pick from to enrich your life. You could make your own hundred things you want to do or have done (or both) that is important to you. I may add a few more to the bottom:

1. Started my own blog- yes, several
2. Slept under the stars- many times.
3. Played in a band- yes, badly
4. Visited Hawaii-no
5. Watched a meteor shower- yes.
6. Given more than I can afford to charity- Yes, but also not given as much at other times.
7. Been to Disneyland/World- no
8. Climbed a mountain- yes
9. Held a praying mantis- yes and it was creepy.
10. Sung a solo- yes, and sounded like a goose farting in the fog.
11. Bungee jumped - and I never, ever, ever will
12. Visited Paris- Not yet
13. Watched lightning at sea- Yes, plenty of times.
14. Taught myself an art from scratch- yes, several
15. Adopted a child- no.
16. Had food poisoning- yes. Terrible when you don't know what end it's gonna come out of.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty- No, but I've been past her on a boat.
18. Grown my own vegetables- yes
19. Seen the Mona Lisa- no.
20. Slept on an overnight train- Several times.
21. Had a pillow fight- yes
22. Hitchhiked- yes. Used to do it quite a bit in my youth. Never on my own, I had a large, male hitch buddy.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - who hasn't?
24. Built a snow fort- no, not enough snow when I was in the US.
25. Held a lamb- yes.
26. Gone skinny dipping- yes.
27. Run a Marathon- No way Jose.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice- nope
29. Seen a total eclipse- Yes, and several partial ones.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset- yes
31. Hit a home run - no but I have hit a six in cricket.
32. Been on a cruise- Nope.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person- not yet.
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors- yes, cos it's not far from here. Not the other side of the family though.
35. Visited an Amish community- no, I missed that on my trip. Next time.
36. Taught myself a new language- yes, Spanish.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied- I only ever wish for "enough".
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person- no.
39. Gone rock climbing- yes
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David- no
41. Sung karaoke- only once when drunk. Hate karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt- no
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant- Yes
44. Visited Africa- no
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight- yes
46. Been transported in an ambulance- yes, when I slashed open my right arm on a louvre window at school.
47. Had my portrait painted- nope.
48. Gone deep sea fishing- no
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person- no
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris- no
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling- Not sure my ears would let me.
52. Kissed in the rain- no.
53. Played in the mud- yes
54. Gone to a drive-in theater- yes
55. Been in a movie- Nope
56. Visited the Great Wall of China- no
57. Started a business- yes
58. Taken a martial arts class- no
59. Visited Russia- no
60. Served at a soup kitchen- yes
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies- no, but was a brownie and sold their biscuits.
62. Went Whale Watching- yes
63. Got flowers for no reason- only ones I've bought myself.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma- yes
65. Gone sky diving- no
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp- no, but I will one day
67. Bounced a check- yes
68. Flown in a helicopter- no
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy- yes
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial- No.
71. Eaten caviar- yes - gross
72. Pieced a quilt- no
73. Stood in Times Square- yes
74. Toured the Everglades- not yet
75. Been fired from a job- never
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London- no
77. Broken a bone- yes, toe and nose
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle- yes
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person- no
80. Published a book- not yet
81. Visited the Vatican- no
82. Bought a brand-new car- no
83. Walked in Jerusalem- no
84. Had my picture in the newspaper- Yes, for a few things.
85. Read the entire Bible- yes
86. Visited the White House- Seen it from the train
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating- Yes
88. Had chickenpox- yes
89. Saved someone’s life- several times
90. Sat on a jury- no, but probably will before long.
91. Met someone famous- yes, several.
92. Joined a book club- yes
93. Lost a loved one- yes
94. Had a baby- not yet
95. Seen the Alamo in person- no
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake- no.
97. Been involved in a law suit- no
98. Owned a cell phone- many
99. Been stung by a bee- yes, a couple of times
100. Ridden an elephant- no

So there's my replies to the list someone else created. Here's a few others I have done and think would be great experiences others could do if they haven't already:

• Swam in Lake Mackenzie on Fraser Island
• Taken a boat tour of the San Francisco Bay
• Eaten echidna
• Had a job that you love and are passionate about.
• Started a community radio station.
• Laughed some beverage out your nose.
• Eaten a hot dog from the street vendor in New York City.
• Read a whole book (a proper novel, not a little one) in one single session.
• Bought yourself a bunch of roses, just because you wanted them.
• Had a white Christmas.
• Learned a new word every day for a whole year.
• Eaten frogs legs.
• Visited at least three other states/provinces in your country.
• Taken a tram in Melbourne.
• Had a champagne at the Sydney Opera House.
• Seen a quokka at Rottnest Island.
• Owned the entire catalogue of one author and one band/singer.
• Been to a movie marathon all night.
• Asked your grandparents, or elderly parents, or some other person over 70 about their life.
• Been completely obsessed about something that you've researched and kept notes on and collected.

I have lots more, but those are a few that just pop into my mind. What are things that you want to do, or have done and have been vastly enriched by, that you could put on a list of important things to do?