Sleepydumpling's Big Adventure

Packing the Bags and Moving

2009-10-22T23:05:00.003+10:00

Hi folks,

It is time for The Sleepydumpling to pack her blog bags and move home. Blogger has served me well for the past three and a bit years, but I need a little more functionality, so I'm going to give Wordpress a try.

I will post some regular reminders here to let you all know that I've moved, but for now, come on over to the new blog:

http://sleepydumpling.wordpress.com

Somethin' For Da Haterz...

2009-10-17T21:28:00.004+10:00

Here are a whole bunch of photos of me. Because I'm not going to let some moron the inability to spell correctly make me feel bad about myself because he wants to call me a "fat bitch".

Here is the photo that drew the comment:

Yep, fat bitch being eaten by a dinosaur. Cos nothing else is big enough to eat me. Rawr!

In this one, I'm drinking away my sorrows, because I just can't cope being a fat bitch.

Look, an almost full body shot of my fat bitchness.

This is me as a fat bitch zombie.

How about a recent photo. Taken yesterday, just moments after I dyed my fat bitch hair. I'd hate to be noticed, just in case someone saw how fat I was.

And here is my big fat bitch arse. Which "Edward" can kiss.

(Actually, it's not my arse, I can't get the camera around there to take a photo of my arse, but it kinda looks like my arse.)

If the haters think they're going to shame me by calling me a fat bitch, or insulting me in any other way... well, let's just say they've got as much chance as my arse has of ever being thin.

Let's Play!

2009-10-14T17:57:00.004+10:00

I've got a story to tell you.

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk, merrily working away, with my iPod firmly plugged into my ears.

Now anyone who knows me, or has seen my desk, knows I am only happy when I can be surrounded by groovy things I love. In the case of my desk at work, it's a large collection of snow globes that I have inherited over the years (to the point that my colleagues now buy them for me when they have holidays), a few toy cars, a stuffed toy giraffe that is wearing a leopard print coat and hooker boots, a few little wind up toys that hop and jiggle and spin and Super Baby and Captain Underpants toys.

Yes, I am childish. Just ask my friend Kylie.

So I'm sitting there happily clacking away at my keyboard, grooving to something fun on my iPod, when along comes this man down the corridor. This man is impeccably turned out. Very high quality tailor made suit, good professional haircut, with the distinguished silver at the sides, carrying an expensive leather compendium, totally exuding professionalism and "high up-ness".

He gets to level with my desk, spots all the toys and trinkets, and breaks into the most beautiful, enormous smile. Then proceeds to stop and play with all the toys, shake the snow globes and chuckle to himself. All without saying a word to me. After about 5 minutes, he puts down the little cow-truck and makes his way off to his meeting or whatever important event he's going to.

It was a delight to watch.

It got me thinking about the importance of play as an adult. How often do you play? Whether that is goofing off with a friend, or just tinkering about with something like Lego or the stress toys on your desk?

On Saturday, Kylie and I were at Robina, and we found a games and puzzles store that had some boxes of the most wonderful little wind up toys. I wanted them all for my desk at work. We must have wound up every single type of toy and tested it. Then we found an Australian Geographic store and played with the stuff in there for awhile. My favourite was the giant dinosaur head on the wall. Check it out:

As adults, I wonder if we're trained not to play? It's either seen as a waste of time, or immature. People look down their noses and say "Be serious." For me, I'm not sure that being serious equates to being sombre. I know myself that I feel so much more relaxed if I can spend a little time tinkering with something, or goofing off with friends than if I "buckle down and be serious" all the time. Not to mention that I can be completely serious about something while also seeing the humour in it, without needing to be sombre.

It doesn't hurt to play sometimes. Go buy yourself a little Lego kit. Or a Matchbox car. Head to a toy store and don't just look, play with some of them. Get yourself a little wind up toy for on your desk at work. Take a photograph with some big display prop. Laugh.

RELAX.

Freak Out Your Inner Geek

2009-10-11T21:00:00.004+10:00

I had a bit of a geek girl dream day yesterday. In the afternoon I was lucky enough to go and visit with new Twitter friends at their lovely house on the Gold Coast. Not only is their house absolutely beautiful, but it's a true geek girl haven with the most exquisite mini theatre and all the gaming bizzo you could dream of. I'm not a gamer, but sitting on the floor of their theatre room watching a group of gals playing Beatles Rock Band, was so much fun. Made especially fun by the fantastic company.

However tonight's blog post is going to be about the total orgasmo-fest that is the Apple Store at Robina. That's what we did in the morning - made a special trip to the Robina shopping centre just for the Apple Store. It did not disappoint.

It looks great, right from when you walk up to the front door. A big glass front with no displays in the windows. The store IS the display. And simply the Apple logo in white above the door. Just like their products, you know straight away what you're getting and what's in there.

Once we went inside, there were lots of "squeeeee" noises because they have several tables with iPhones just laid out on them for you to play with. Some are loaded up with apps, some are showcasing particular features, others are just there for you to tinker. Some goon had left his email open on the one I went to, and I had the overwhelming desire to send him an email on it, but I did the good karma thing and deleted it from the iPhone.

Even though I already have an iPhone, I still tinkered and played with the ones there. Mostly because I got a taste of some of the apps I don't have. And they'd set them up to do things I haven't learnt to do yet.

While we were there, they had a class for people in the Snow Leopard operating system. A very personable young man was taking a group of about 8 people through the operating system, in what seemed like a clear, concise way. I wouldn't mind having a go at one of those sessions myself.

I am planning to buy an iMac in a month or so when my PC lease runs out, so I decided to see if I could get someone to talk to me about it. It didn't take long for someone to acknowledge me, and he asked if I would like some help. When I said yes, he said "I'm just with someone right now, but I'll get someone for you while I'm at it." He kept with his customers but acknowledged me every time he came past and found me someone within about 10 minutes. The guy who came to talk to me was friendly without being pushy, helped me with my questions about leasing/finance/full purchase and then asked me what I would mostly like to use my computer for. And gave me a demo of iPhoto, which is pretty bloody impressive.

I also had a look at all of the MacBooks, all laid out on the table and up and running for customers to tinker with. Perused the walls full of accessories for all your Apple goodies. Watched a huge mofo television with Apple TV hooked up to it. Gazed at the very attractive but also friendly staff. And plotted and planned for when I can get my very own iMac.

If you're of the geeky pursuasion, even if you're only dipping your toe in the pool of geekdom, make your way to the nearest Apple store to you. Not only are they absolutely gorgeous, impressive products but you are encouraged to tinker and play by the very friendly staff. You will have lots of fun (and be planning your own iPhone/iMac/MacBook purchase in the very near future!)

My Auntie Dot

2009-10-08T12:24:00.006+10:00

I've just heard today that my Auntie Dot probably won't make it through the day.

It's bittersweet, because I'm sure she's chosen when she's ready to go (she's just that damn stubborn) but I will miss her when she does.

Auntie Dot taught me my first dirty jokes.

She taught me to play most card games, and how to cheat at them.

She was responsible for most of my early sex education because she had boxes and boxes of smutty cartoon books that I used to sneak copies out of and read under the blankets, giggling at all the jokes I didn't understand and the drawings of nude women. Boobies are hilarious to a six year old.

She taught me how to cook a lot of things, most of them full of fat, sugar and salt, all of them delicious.

She had more gadgets and doodads than anyone else I know, and I have inherited that.

She always had pet birds, with ridiculous names like Wrecker, that would roam the house freely, alternately terrorising people or charming them for tidbits. My favourite was an old galah that would steal cigarette butts out of ashtrays and put them in people's shoes. Most of these birds swore like fishwives. Kind of like Auntie Dot.

When we kids called out "Dottie!" through the house she would always answer "Whattie?"

She had a cat called Fonzie that was just like a ginger version of Horse from the Footrot Flats comics.

She had a vast collection of Footrot Flats comics. A vast collection of comics all together, from the aforementioned smut to Richie Rich and Archie and the Ettamogah Pub.

She liked silly toys that did poos or laid eggs or made fart noises. She loved dirty jokes. A few years ago one of her kids set her up with email and she has bombarded me with filthy jokes ever since. Whenever I see a really puerile dirty joke, I email it to Dottie. Usually if it has a picture of a penis in it, Dottie will love it.

She could feed a good sized township on whatever she could find in her freezer and her rather marvellous pantry. Jesus had nothing on her with his loaves and fishes.

Her door was always open and her phone always ringing. We have been known to sleep three deep on her livingroom floor. With various pets climbing all over us.

She loved kids, loved Christmas and would always join the two together and create the most riotous times.

She always complained about everything, but you knew she secretly loved everything too. Her laugh always sounded filthy, even when she was laughing at something innocent.

I'll miss her, the cranky old bitch.

Housekeeping Announcement

2009-10-04T22:20:00.006+10:00

Just a heads up.

It's no more Miss Nice Girl.

If you don't like what I got to say, fuck off. You heard me.

Nobody is forcing anybody to read my blogs or follow me on Twitter. If you are here reading my blog or Twitter to get all pissed off and criticise me, you need to perhaps look at what's lacking in your life. You got nothing better to do than spend time reading the writing of someone you don't like? That's pretty sad.

I make the rules in this patch. You don't like it, don't let the door hit your arse on the way out. If you hang around in my patch, then I reserve the right to have fun telling you in many colourful and detailed ways how you can go fuck yourself.

Now, back to our regular programming.

Time to Re-Assess

2009-10-02T20:30:00.004+10:00

As I mentioned earlier, I've been battling the black dog a bit the past few days. It's purely chemical, and will pass in time, but it's at times like this that the things that bother me, frustrate me or make me angry, bubble to the surface, so it pays to lay those things out in front of me a bit and examine them, to see if I can improve on them at all.

One of the things that has been high on the irritation factor lately has been the behaviour exhibited by several people on Twitter.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Twitter, have made some amazing friends and had some incredible experiences. I have been taking a bit of a break for a few days, because I was feeling low and didn't want to irritate anyone with my blah mood, but I am looking forward to jumping back in when I'm feeling a bit more robust. I've missed quite a few people while I've been on this hiatus.

However, I have realised it's time for a rethink on how I have been using Twitter. Up until now, I've been casting my Twitter net far, wide and deep. Which has brought me some amazing people to talk to and meet in real life too. However, the downside of casting that net out so broadly and deeply is you also pick up a lot of fish that are not at all pleasant. What's worse, is sometimes it's really, really hard to disentangle those nasty fish from the net and chuck 'em back. Which means they spoil the experience and take up valuable time from the tasty fish.

Unfortunately, the internet, and therefore Twitter, can be a great enabler of bad behaviour. Where face-to-face you have to deal with the consequences of your behaviour pretty quickly, online you can throw out any old statement, behaviour or attitude and you don't get to see the consequences. Needless to say, those people in the world who are arseholes LOVE this, and rely on it to be able to perpetuate their arsehole behaviour. This is not unique to Twitter understand, but as it's the broadest interface I have been using for connecting with new people, it's where I've seen it displayed the most of recent times.

Some of the behaviour types that have been bothering me the most include:

· The Passive Aggressive - people who are too cowardly to say anything up front, broadcast out snarky messages to everyone when it's very clear who the intended recipient is.

· The “But I’m KIDDING!” - Behaving in badly and then claiming they're "Just being facetious." when they're called on it. No you're not, you're being a fuck. Own it.

· The Judgemental - The level of intolerance has really astonished me. And it's not the usual offenders of the highly conservative either. I can't believe how vicious some people can be to those who are different to them - as if they'd accept anyone behaving in that manner towards them, but they're quite happy to give it out.

· The Bitch – not just women. It’s the snarky comments and put downs.

· The Bully - the old "Hey everyone, look at so-and-so said! Let's all point and laugh!" style. Fight your own battles.

· The Superiority Complex. There are a lot of people out there that feel that they’re better than others. They’re not.

· The Narcissist. Ever see that scene in Beaches when Bette Midler’s character says “But enough about me, let’s talk about you. How do you feel about me?” Oh how those people love online communities. Because they can always get validation from someone to say “But you’re awesome!” and feed their ego. So they spend their whole time saying things like “I suck.” So every conversation turns to them.

· The Drama Queen/King – instead of just opting out of the conversation, unfollowing or skimming, they chime in with a big “OMG!! Everyone is FIGHTING!! Oh I can’t handle it!” whenever anyone has a good debate. Closely related to the Narcissist, they have to make every discussion directly about them.

· The Wannabe – these people believe they’re intended for Internet Fame. They friend everybody, but only talk to those they think are going to make them appear more interesting and bring them more followers. If they ask a question and people respond, they only reply to those who they think are “awesome enough”.

· The False Networker – again, these friend everybody, but only so their follow count looks big and if someone is of use to them, then they’ll interact. Otherwise they just ignore most people.

· The Pick Up Artist – they’re looking for a root. They only want to interact with you if they fancy you or one of your friends.

· The Barnacle – these people just cannot let go. If someone dares to disagree with them, or there is some kind of dispute, they might unfollow, but they spend the rest of their time dropping hints about “certain people” and “remember that incident”. Other people in genuine concern then mention it to those “certain people”, which is exactly what the Barnacle wants. You just can’t shake a fucking Barnacle.

I’m sure there are more. These are the ones I find give me the shits more than any others.

So in light of that, I’m having a re-think of how I use Twitter. I have two accounts. One of which I am going to lock down now, after clearing out all of the extraneous accounts I follow that either fill my feed with irrelevant crap, narcissism or drama. This will be my private account and only people I trust will be welcome.

My other account will be opened up and I’ll follow all the local event accounts, work related stuff and people I don’t know yet. This account won’t get as much attention as the private one, but it will be where I get to know the character of people before I bring them close. That way I can hopefully filter out all of those personality types above.

It sucks that one has to put so much energy into directing something as simple as Twitter, but unfortunately there are a lot of unhealthy people out there who clearly don’t have enough of a life to live that they have to create drama, bad vibes and falseness to the rest of us who just are who we are and genuinely want to interact.

An Alligator Beats a Black Dog Anytime

2009-10-01T20:13:00.003+10:00

I've had a crap couple of days. The black dog of depression has been plaguing me. So I'm going to indulge in some gratuitous cheer me up videos in this blog, just so that I have them all in one place for next time.

Yes, it's more Craig Ferguson, or in particular, one of his puppets, Wavey the Alligator.

You know, I think it's the accent I like the best. Whatta do everybody!

Wavey has a friend in this one (above).

This one above is possibly my favourite.

Ok, let's give Craig a plug for his new book. Last week he released an autobiography called "American on Purpose". Here he is giving an author talk:

If you want to buy the book, Amazon have it available here. I've read excerpts, it's very good, and very funny.

Why Do We Hate?

2009-09-25T15:43:00.004+10:00

After a conversation I saw recently on Twitter by the lovely Miss_Chicken, I thought I would talk a bit today about hate and hatred.

Every day you hear the word hate bandied around a lot. People hate foods, they hate music or books or movies, they hate famous people, they hate some douchebag that cut them off in traffic, they hate the green paint in their office, they hate the smell of petrol, they hate decaf coffee, they hate Mondays.

I'm not quite sure that most people quite know what hatred is, or what it does to them. I still catch myself doing it from time to time, though I've cured myself of doing it in reference to people. I caught myself saying earlier today that I hate bureaucracy, and I've had to give myself a little shake.

You see hatred is poisonous. It makes the person with the hatred the most ill. Hatred is also a waste of your energy. As the old saying goes, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

A few years ago, when I was at my lowest point, I talked about hate a lot. I hated myself, I hated my family, I hated how people treated me, I hated my body, I was just full of hate. My psychologist challenged me to change my thinking and let go of all the hate, which in most cases, was anger I wasn't brave enough to express. She asked me to take notice of every time I used the word hate, and see if I could find another word that expressed my feelings better than hate. I found that the more that I thought about it, what I was feeling was not hate. It was anger, fear, irritation, frustration, sadness. Those are all a lot more scary to deal with than hate. Hate is so definite, it's easy to latch onto.

I don't hate peas. I just don't like the taste of them. I don't hate Angelina Jolie, she just irritates the shit out of me. I don't hate spiders, I'm afraid of them. I don't hate homophobes, I am just very angry at them.

The question was asked on Twitter recently if hatred was borne out of jealousy. I think some hatred is definitely borne of envy, that's for sure. People who choose to literally hate other people are sometimes envious of those they hate. Particularly those that can't just leave that person alone. I've never quite understood the concept of "enemies". Why would you want to focus any more attention on a person that you don't like?

The thing is, one chooses to hate. It's not involuntary, and I believe it's something we learn. I am choosing not to hate. Like everything, it's a work in progress, but it's a decision I've made. I seem to have conquered the hating people thing, I don't even hate my family any more, though I'm still angry at most of them. But I still hate stuff sometimes. Because it's easy to hate stuff. I mean, it's just stuff, and it's annoying, or scary (like spiders, I still hate them a bit).

Every time I hear the word "hate" come out of my mouth, or my typing fingers, or cross my mind, I'm going to challenge it. Ask myself what I really feel about the think I'm stating hatred for.

Because I'm pretty sure it's not worthy of hatred, whatever it is.

In My Place

2009-09-21T20:50:00.004+10:00

Tonight I want to talk a bit about self identity, self esteem and confidence. It ties into my previous post on depression and anxiety a bit, in that depression and anxiety have always fed my low self esteem and lack of confidence, and now that I am finding that I can have these things while still battling depression and anxiety, I want to share a bit with others my own experiences and lessons, and some things I have come to believe.

I used to have terribly low self esteem. I loathed myself. I thought I was the most worthless piece of nothing that ever existed. I blamed myself for everything bad in the world, and for every time someone was rude to me, or downright nasty to me, I convinced myself it was my fault. I spent far more energy than any human being could actually maintain on trying to please everyone around me.

My whole life, for the first 30 something years, I did everything I could to make people happy, to make them like me. I genuinely believed if there was anything that people were unhappy or angry about, it was my fault.

I was a walking doormat.

Strangely enough, there were plenty of people who told me just that. You're nothing. You're fat, stupid, lazy, greedy, ugly, worthless, pathetic. Some of these were my own family, some were people that called themselves my friends. Some of them were absolute strangers on the street. I believed them. Despite giving every ounce of energy I had to being, doing everything I could to please everyone else but myself, I believed them that I was worthless.

Then I was diagnosed with depression, and referred on to a psychologist who specialises in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Through CBT I retrained my brain to be able to recognise the patterns in my behaviour and thinking that were damaging to me. I learned to like myself. My self esteem grew. As did my confidence. Slowly but surely, I began to actually love myself.

I know, I know, when you hear the words "love myself" you think of having tickets on yourself, or being up yourself. But when you truly learn what it is to love who you essentially are, it's not like that at all. It doesn't mean you think you're perfect or flawless. It doesn't mean that you think you can't make mistakes, or there aren't things about yourself that you can hone and improve. It means that you respect who you are, are proud of doing your best when you can and see your value as a human being.

Nor does it mean that you're all shiny and groovy forever. Sometimes you forget to love yourself. Sometimes the confidence and self esteem slip a bit. Then you have to rework it, relearn all those lessons and find your way again.

I am a work in progress, and always will be.

One of the big lessons I have learnt over the past year is that it doesn't matter if people don't like me. I don't need them to. What matters is that I like me as I have to live with me 24 x 7.

I spent so many years trying to make everyone happy and get them to like me, but even when I did everything I possibly could to make people happy, there were some that still didn't like me. So here I was, trying so hard, with people not liking me, and I was still unhappy. I have learnt that if I work to make myself happy, then I will draw people into my life that DO matter, and they will be happy because they matter to me and I will show them.

Life is not a popularity contest. You don't need to collect the most friends to win. What you do need to do is value the people that matter to you the most, and give your best to life.

If people don't like me, fair enough. I don't like some people myself. A lot of people really. It doesn't hurt me if people don't like me. All I ask of people who don't like me is to leave me alone. If you don't like me, why are you bothering to expend any energy on me? As the saying goes, the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. If I don't like someone, I travel in the opposite direction to them, not hang around paying them attention. I don't like them, why would I want to pay them any attention?

But what really matters to me is that I can be proud of myself. I try to ask myself with every decision "What will I be proud of later." Doesn't mean I always make the right decision, but it means that I make a lot more right ones than if I didn't ask myself that question!

There are a lot of people who don't like confident women. Some don't like confident men, but more don't like confident women. Women are supposed to be demure and dainty and humble. Women are supposed to be always giving, to be always supportive and enabling. Women aren't supposed to be proud of themselves. Women aren't supposed to not care if they're not liked.

Instead of walking away from those women, the people that don't like them feel the need to bring them down, to "put them in their place". NOTHING pisses these people off more than a woman who refuses to be "put in her place". What a bitch! She refuses to bow to what I think she should be, to conform to how I think she should behave!

I have a place. That is not for anyone other than ME to determine.

I remove those people from my life who want anything for me other than my happiness. Yet despite the cries of "You selfish bitch, you'll have no friends, you'll die alone and miserable and bitter." from these people who cannot bear the thought of someone simply walking away from them.

Yet here's the funny thing. Since I learned this lesson, the lesson of self esteem and confidence, the lesson of "I am beholden to no man/woman, other than myself." I am happy. And I have more truly wonderful people in my life than I ever had when I was trying to please everyone else. The connections I have made may not be as widespread, but they are far, far deeper. There is a sense of peace in me that I never had before. I feel light and strong and balanced. I carry no burdens of other people's bad behaviour longer than the time it takes for me to disengage from them.

Again, that doesn't mean that I don't still have bouts of self loathing, of fights with the black dog of depression and waves of anxiety, fears and worries. But it means that I can take a deep breath, stop and look around, see the people I love and who love me as I am, and set myself back onto the path again.

I want other people to feel what I am feeling now. I want others to know what it's like to let go of having to have the approval of others just because those others are vocal and domineering. I want to share this peace and strength. The only way I know how is to tell my story and share my experience.

Living with the Black Dog

2009-09-19T19:09:00.003+10:00

I was going to write a post on Fat Heffalump about depression, but I've decided to broaden the topic a bit and post it here, because I'd like to talk to everyone about depression, not just my fellow fats.

One of the biggest challenges with dealing with depression is that in many cases, it is a taboo subject. Sufferers or the friends and family of sufferers just don't talk about it. It's demonised in the media as well, which makes it even more difficult to talk about. Ironically though, one of the most healing things you can do as a depression sufferer is to talk about it.

Talking about depression (both that I suffer and the experiences of others) has been one of the most healing activities for me, so I'm going to cast that onwards and talk about it some more here.

My name is Kath and I suffer depression. Some of you who know me may think that I am a confident, outgoing, bubbly woman. I am, sometimes. These days I am that woman a lot more than I used to be. However, I do suffer depression and anxiety, always have and always will. I am a lot healthier than I have ever been, but I have suffered severe depression and been suicidal in my past. I used to carry a lot of shame about my depression, but thanks to some really good cognitive behavioural therapy, I am not ashamed any more.

One of the hardest things to deal with when it comes to depression is the "Depression for no reason." That's when life's fine, there are no dramas or serious problems, but you get sucked into a quagmire of depression that is just there for no apparent reason. In my case the reason is usually a flood of whatever brain chemicals it is that cause my depression, but outwardly there is no "reason".

When you have depression, and are in the middle of a bout of it, your thinking is not rational. The judgements you make on yourself and the world around you are not clear and unbiased. Things that would normally not cause you to even think twice suddenly weigh heavy on your mind and your confidence, and affect your thinking more than they normally would. Then this feeds into a spiral, where your depression can get worse and worse, unless you do something to break the cycle. My rule, when I find myself in a bout of depression (which I have now learnt to recognise pretty quickly) is "Cast no judgement." I do my best to not make any decisions other than the bare necessities of living, make no judgement on situations, people around me or myself and to put any critical thinking on hold until the depression has passed. I find that if I just put one foot in front of the other and do what I need to do to maintain my daily life and take care of myself, I prevent myself from getting into a depression spiral.

Sometimes the people around you don't know how to deal when you are depressed. I see this a lot. People are frightened by depression. It's hard to know what to do or how to act when someone is depressed and you don't suffer it yourself. Some even worry that it's catching! In my case, when I am depressed I look like I am physically ill. So people will often ask me if I am unwell. I used to just say I was feeling sick, but now days I tell people that I'm unwell with depression, because I used to get upset at hiding how unwell I was with it. But you need to be careful because sometimes the reaction people have is very hard to deal with. Some people try to "fix" you. Others avoid you. Many say "Cheer up." as if you can actually just do that. Most people do mean well, but it's difficult to live with people's discomfort about your illness.

Depression is not imagined. It is real and it's as physical as any other ailment. Of course it's a little less easy to spot because you don't get a rash or a cough or a sniffly nose. But it is an illness that hits you for whatever reason (there are many different types of depression) and I find the best way to initially approach it is as though you have "come down with depression". When I am depressed, I am unwell, and I take care of myself in the same way I would if I had a flu or a virus or an injury. I take some time off work if I am unable to work, I rest, I eat foods that are good for me and drink lots of water (hydration helps everything, I am sure of it!), I see my doctor and I take care of myself as best I can. Sometimes depression is brought on for me by other illness. If I get a flu, depression is not far away. When I got shingles, depression came to visit too. Same as when I got a tummy bug of some kind. In fact, sometimes when I get depression, the first warning sign is a bout of sinusitis! I think for me, a low immune system brings on both sinus infection and depression.

Another thing I find really helps is to write a "cheat sheet". I have one in the front of all my notebooks (I am a notebook keeper) and now in the notes application of my iPhone. Basically, it tells me what to do to function through a day. It's as basic as:

Get up
Shower
Brush your teeth.
Dress (with makeup)
Wear sensible shoes.
Eat breakfast
Go to work, try to do repetitive "automatic" work (oh my databases and record keeping do well when I'm depressed, it's easy, it's formulaic and I can just get into it without having to tax my poor depressed brain.
Eat lunch.
Go outside at lunchtime.
Remember your tea (I keep peppermint and chamomile tea special for when I'm depressed, it does help)
DO NOT SKIP DINNER.
Read or watch DVD's that make you feel good.
Go to bed by 9.30pm at the latest.

Pretty basic isn't it? But it really does help me focus when I am depressed. I actually do have certain clothes and shoes that I make sure I wear when I am depressed. They are comfortable and I feel nice in them. I can cope with things more if I'm not in shoes that hurt or worried about my outfit.

Most of all, go easy on yourself. Be KIND to yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would treat other people. We are usually far harder on ourselves than we are on people around us.

If you suffer depression, let us know in the comments any tips or tactics you have learned to help you cope.

Why I Became a Librarian

2009-09-14T17:47:00.004+10:00

A couple of days ago I was having a conversation with a friend about my boss and why I admire her, and I said something about "She reminds me of why I am a librarian and am passionate about libraries." He asked me exactly why I am a librarian and as I thought of my answer, I decided that perhaps a blog post could come of that.

So.... why am I a librarian?

Well, when I was a little girl, the library was always a haven for me. It's no secret that I come from a pretty screwed up family. Things at home were usually pretty crap. So when we used to go to the library of a night time. I think it was Tuesday nights the library was open late in Rosewood. We'd go in our pj's and I had that whole building full of books at my fingertips, I was happy.

My school teacher-librarian when I was little was a lovely lady named Miss Stubbs. I thought she was amazing. She was pretty and had long straight blonde hair, and read books to kids at her job. She had a soft, clear voice and a sweet smile. And she was always really gentle and nice to me.

I remember her encouraging me to choose anything I wanted from the library to read. Even when I sometimes chose a book that was too young for me, or that I'd read time and time again, she never suggested I should choose something else. Sometimes she asked me what I liked about that particular book, and would offer something else that I might like for the same reasons. She was usually right.

When I returned books, she would ask me what I thought about it. She never judged me if I didn't like something that she had recommended, or if I liked it for silly reasons, like it was funny or it had rude characters in it. I loved Roald Dahl's books for the naughtiness of some of his characters. There was a Robyn Klein book called Penny Pollard's Diary that looked like an exercise book and like it had bandaids and polaroids and stuff all stuck in it. It looked all dirty and Penny Pollard was a bit of a naughty girl. Miss Stubbs thought it was totally OK that I loved that book, even though my mother thought it was stupid.

Once there was a competition in the library to name the mascot for the reading programme. It was a little pink water dragon, kind of like the Loch Ness monster with humps up out of the water. I nominated the name "Serendipity" and won the competition. I got three books, one of which was a Pippi Longstocking book by Astrid Lindgren, and one of Enid Blyton's Naughtiest Girl in School books. One day I will get that little dragon tattooed on me, along with the word Serendipity.

Miss Stubbs used to let me look in the box of new books first when they arrived, because I'd read pretty much everything in the library. I always remember it being like Christmas when those boxes would appear, it wasn't very often from memory, but there were always new friends in that box for me.

Whenever things were really bad at home, there was always a book to escape into. I could hide in my wardrobe with a torch and read whatever library books I had. Sometimes I would find a corner down in our yard, far away from the house, where I could read or just daydream my own stories. There was a jacaranda tree I would climb up and read in too. When I was a little older, I would get on my bike and ride across town to my school and I would go to the library. If it was closed, I would sit on the sort of verandah outside in the shade and read there. It was always so peaceful and calm there, compared to at home.

A few years ago, I was standing in line at a Michael Palin booksigning, when I thought I recognised the lady in front of me. I couldn't quite place where, but she turned and said to me "Excuse me, is your name Kathleen?" The minute she spoke, I recognised that soft, clear voice. It was Miss Stubbs. I was thrilled to tell her that I was now a librarian, and almost totally because of her. I found that she was still a children's librarian in the area where I grew up, and still passionate about her job. I'm not quite sure she knows how much she meant to me, either then or now.

After Miss Stubbs left our school, I was a little older, and the new teacher-librarian came along. Her name was Miss Browning. She was really cool. She was more extroverted than Miss Stubbs, and had a fat red cattle dog called Bear that used to sleep around the library. Miss Browning let me help out at the library a lot. Especially when there were bullies around. I would shelve for her, or get things ready for her classes. She was always so funny, and I remember laughing with her while we talked. She taught me to cover and mend books, as well as how to catalogue. I already knew Dewey really well when I got to High School because of her. She gave me a t-shirt with sunglasses on it once, and I wore that thing to rags.

I often wonder what happened to her.

Once I got to High School, the librarian was Mrs Scott. Or Ms Whittaker. Or was that the other way around? Mrs Whittaker/Ms Scott. I remember she changed her name while we were there, because she got divorced. At first she really scared me, because while she was only a little lady and I was already my adult height, she had this ENORMOUS voice. She shouted at the boys a lot. Miss Stubbs and Miss Browning never shouted.

But one night I went to the library after school (again, they opened it one night per week to the public) and I asked her timidly if there were any books like the one I had read, The Root Cellar by Janet Lunn. You see I really loved the American Civil War setting, and wanted to read more about it. She gave me The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane. We were firm friends from that day on.

She too would let me help in the library during lunch time and after school, mostly to keep away from the bullies and avoid going home. Later the school built a fantastic new library, state-of-the-art with one of the first fully automated barcoding systems in Australia. She bought badges for me and two other girls that said "Library Monitor". Nobody had them before that. She taught us how to use the barcoding system, which had a pen shaped barcode reader. She taught me more about cataloguing and processing books. I could cover hardcover books with the thick plastic covering like a pro. I still can do it, beautifully neat and perfect.

And she encouraged me to read anything I could get my hands on. She had travelled a lot, and she told me about places she had been and things she had done, and gave me books to read about those places. Once she went on a big world trip and we had a substitute teacher-librarian. She sent me three postcards while she was away, to my house. I felt so special that she sent them to my house, not to the school like the ones she sent to the teacher's aide that worked in the library, Mrs D. One was of the Sphinx in Egypt, another was the Oracle at Delphi and the last was the Colosseum in Rome. I still have them nearly 25 years later.

She put up with me all those hormonal years when I fell in love with so many Senior boys. She would understand on the days I didn't turn up when I said I would, because I was behind the Home Ec building with Senior boys. She liked my friend Peter from Senior, who was called Fraggle because of his Robert Smith style hair. She sent me a card years later when he died of a heroin overdose, because he couldn't face reality in life, being gay in a small town. She also tolerated my very camp friend Marcus, who wore pants so tight that he split them in the arse squatting down to give CPR to a dummy. Marcus who also didn't know he was gay, but experimented with me behind the Home Ec block to find out if he liked girls.

She left when I went into Senior at high school and we had two teacher-librarians then, because they needed two to be as good as her. A man and a lady, who were nice, and let me stay a library monitor, but they didn't talk to me about books or places around the world like Ms Scott/Whittaker did. They didn't show me how to do new things in the library. They just wanted me to shelve and tidy up.

They let more people be library monitors, and some of them were boys. One of those boys was my boyfriend for a while, I can't remember his name but he had blonde hair and a cute bum and liked to talk about books. He could also programme games into an Amstrad 464 computer, which we had. He would sit on the tennis courts of the school with me when things were shitty at home, and I would bolt to be out of the house. When we moved to another house to be away from my father, he came to visit me one Saturday morning, the first person who came to visit me at my house for a lot of years.

The library wasn't the same after Ms Scott/Whittaker left. Then I was forced to change schools in Year 12 and went to Beaudesert, and the school librarian there was a dragon lady, who just screamed at the kids and made the library horrible. But I never forgot Miss Stubbs, Miss Browning, and Ms Scott/Whittaker.

Because of them, I'm a librarian. Because they showed me that no matter how screwed up my family and home was, I could always read and learn and dream about more. They told me that girls could put their mind to anything, and books were the doorway to that, even if the books were fluffy or silly. They taught me that reading would always elevate me out of whatever pit I was in, be it depression, a violent home, being broke or lonely. They taught me that so long as I could read, life could be better, that it would be better. If people in books could sort it out, I could. Sometimes that lesson was all that got me through parts of my life.

I would love to be that person for someone. If my being a librarian contributes to one person raising themselves out of the shit in life to be something better than they thought they could be, or others thought they could be, then I've given something back to Miss Stubbs, Miss Browning, Ms Scott/Whittaker.

Three ladies that saved my life.

On Raising Literacy Levels in Australia

2009-09-13T16:06:00.004+10:00

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 46% of Australians are sub-literate. (source)

Photo courtesy of Flickr

This means that 46% of Australians do not have the prose literacy skills needed to meet the complex demands of everyday life and work. This not only includes people who cannot read at all, the illiterate, but also includes the rather large number of people who can read individual words, or simple sentences, but do not have the comprehensive skills to understand an average sentence or longer, or a paragraph.

At first this revelation shocked me. But on more recent experience, I understand it now, and can honestly say I can see the evidence of this in my day to day life. Even in online services and tools that rely solely on the written word (ie blogs, Facebook, Twitter, forums etc), I am noticing how many people struggle to comprehend what they are reading. It's not that they cannot read each individual word, it's that they are unable to comprehend the words together in the form of sentences and paragraphs. And what often happens is they compensate by taking in what they think the sentences and paragraphs say, and not what they actually say. I would say it's easily a good 20 - 25% of people I read daily (and often interact with) would fit in to the sub-literate category.

Never has this been more evident to me than recently. If you like, go and read the most heated comments in some of my earlier blog posts. How often do you see me respond with "You are not reading what I have written." or "But that is not what I have said."? It's alarmingly frequent.

As a librarian who believes deeply in literacy being the one thing that will better our society, I sometimes wonder how to contribute more to raising people's literacy in not only Australia but the world.

One popular school of thought is that writers should simplify their writing, take it to a more basic level.

I believe this is "dumbing down" and I believe it makes the problem worse. Can you imagine if we dumbed down brilliant wordsmiths because some people don't have the literacy skills to read them? One of my idols in language and writing is Stephen Fry. He plays with language, constantly tweaks it and polishes it. I can't imagine not having writers like this, who are not afraid to really get their teeth into words and language to read. Not to mention the fact that I dream to have the skill that he shows with language.

Newspapers are traditionally written for an 11 year old reading ability. Let's leave it to them to keep that level, and let's gently encourage people to practice their reading by finding writing that they LOVE. Recreational reading is fun and relaxing, or it should be - there's another whole blog post on forcing or guilting people into reading what is "worthy", which I may write in the future. If someone has found the subject matter interesting enough to pick up the book, or click on the link, or open the magazine/newspaper/comic, then that is the first major step to improving their literacy. The more someone enjoys reading, the more they're going to strive to do it, to expand what they are reading.

As writers, I feel we should all be honing our skills, not just opting for the easy road out and going for that approach that newspapers take, of sticking to the 11 year old reading level. As our writing gets better and better, so do the skills of our readers. At least this is what I believe.

The best way to improve your writing skills? The same way in improving all skills... practice. It doesn't matter if every piece isn't a masterpiece, but if you're doing it, and polishing it as you go, then you'll get better and better at it. You want practice at it? Then keep doing it.

Think About That Ink

2009-09-09T20:11:00.005+10:00

Any of you who know me, know how much I love tattoos. I have three, two of which are in highly visible spots, and I'm very proud of them all. If you want to look at the two most recent, you can find them on this blog post here. Recently I made the decision that I am planning to get both sleeves done, full sleeves down to the hands, as well as both legs from the knees down and on to my feet.

Photo courtesy of Flickr

I probably won't get them done all in one go, because I'd love to collect ink art from truly great tattooists. Besides, I don't care WHAT I have to do, I am getting a piece by Chris Garver (you may have seen him on Miami Ink) if it kills me.

Anyway, as someone who loves their ink and has spent a lot of time learning about it and the culture around it, I want to give any of you who are thinking about getting tattooed some advice. Because despite the fact that it is fairly obvious that tattoos are permanent, people don't always think about what they're doing before they get one. And I will tell you now people, laser removal is not only expensive and painful, it also doesn't work that well. So here are my tips.

Think about it. Sleep on it. Make sure you are really comfortable with the design you are getting. The longer you've thought about it and talked about it, the more perfect it will sit with you.
A cheap tattooist will give you a cheap tattoo. Cheap = nasty.
Ask people who have tattoos that you admire where they got their work done. You'll notice the same name come up on the stuff you really like again and again. Go to that tattooist.
ANY good tattoo artist has his/her name as their best guarantee. They plug their name relentlessly and a quick Google search will bring up their work and reviews from their customers. We tattooed not only like to talk about our tatts, but we love to plug our tattoo artists too.
If a tattooist has books or walls with stuff that you can walk up and say "I'll have that one please" - you're going to the wrong tattooist. Quality tattoo artists do not do "catalogue" work. Every piece is original for each customer. They may have lots of reference books to give them starting points and help you pick a look or style you want, but that's different to catalogues.
Never choose a tattoo while inebriated in any form. You WILL regret it.
Remember that tattoos spread and thicken with age. This means that anything too detailed will end up blobby.
A good tattoo artist will guide you in the design, fit it to the contours of your body and tell you if something isn't going to work long term.
Take reference material. Google image search the things you want done, print out a whole bunch IN COLOUR and take them with you.
Check out the tattoo shop before you get your work done. Does it smell like a hospital? Bingo, that's what you want. You want to smell disinfectant, see lots of rubber gloves and every thing they use on you should be sterile. Only the very best of tattooists can work "remotely" to high quality, so beware of getting work done outside of tattoo shops themselves.
Are you Celtic? No? Then don't get a Celtic tattoo, you'll only look like a dick. Same goes for Maori/Pacific/Polynesian/Native American designs.
Ladies, please don't get a fairy.
Getting genitalia tattooed on yourself is not classy.
Nor is getting your genitalia tattooed itself.
Get some good quality tattoo magazines. I love Post-Modern Ink.
If the tattooist is rude, dismissive or makes you feel stupid, then they are not the tattooist for you.
Any tattoo artist worth their salt will provide you with the artwork BEFORE you get anything done to you. They'll ask you to approve it before they go any further. If you want to change something, say so straight away.
Be aware that certain tattoos don't go on certain parts of the body, and that tattoos need to face a particular way. A good tattooist will tell you this, and explain why he/she wants to mirror image a tattoo, or change the design a bit. It's for your own good!
If you have made a mistake with a past tattoo, and you want a cover up, be aware that whatever you get to cover it has to be darker and heavier than the existing tattoo. Therefore if you have a big black tribal piece and you decide you hate it... there ain't much you can cover that sucker with.
Don't get what everyone else is getting. Cos you'll end up hating it in a year or two. Get something that means something to YOU and that isn't a fad or trend.

But most importantly... THINK ABOUT IT! This is something you are going to have for the rest of your life, and you will want to love it every time you look at it. You'll want to show it off and talk about it and be proud of it. Don't get it until you've really thought about it.

Meow!

2009-09-06T19:05:00.005+10:00

I think it's time for some fun on this blog. Something to give the haterz a rest.

I think I'm in love. Not with some bloke. Well... a little bit with some bloke. You see, I've rediscovered Winston. Smooshy faced, cranky, fluffy, he'll-eat-anything Winston. He's the most fun kitteh on the interwebs. Followed very closely by Maru, the fat Scottish Fold from Japan that likes boxes a little too much.

But you know why I really like Winston? Cos he has a cute boy who is his human. Check this out:

See? He's a hottie. And he likes cats. No he LOVES cats. That's adorable!

Why don't more blokes like cats? I must admit, I never used to be a big fan of cats. But I seem to be getting more fond of them as I get older. And I find it really cute when guys like cats. Especially if they have wacky cats with lots of character like Winston:

Yeah ok, I'll admit, I really like Winston cos his human is cute.

A Public Service Announcement

2009-08-31T10:18:00.002+10:00

I would just like to clarify to all for one and final time.

I do not make personal jabs on my blog.

I do understand that these days passive-aggressiveness is the default action of many people, and we are all incredibly battered by it. We come to expect that when people have a problem with us, then we will be on the receiving end of passive-aggressive behaviour.

This is not how I operate. EVER. If I have a problem with someone that I wish to address, I will address it with them directly and personally. If they hear no more about it from me, they can rest assured it is of no consequence to me and I have moved on. Trust me, if I'm angry with you... you will know it, I'm quite comfortable in expressing anger with someone directly.

My blog posts are not of any targeted nature and are about my feelings, opinions, beliefs and thoughts on general situations. Sometimes a discussion or event may bring those thoughts to the surface, or assist me in illustrating a point, but I do not use my blog to make personal slights or attacks on anyone - unless they come here to this blog and attack me.

If you have read an opinion piece on my blog that does not directly name you, link to a comment you made on my blog or to something you have written about me, but you think it is directly targeting you... you are wrong and you need to let go of that attitude/belief.

If you have a problem with me personally, you are welcome to contact me directly to discuss as I will do for you. However if you make any derogatory comments, personal insults or behave in a disrespectful manner, I will delete everything and block you.

But this blog is not some snarking ground to bitch about other people. Others may behave like that but I do not. And I will not tolerate people trying to turn it into that in comments either.

No more will be entered into on this subject.

Be Careful of Taking the Easy Road Out

2009-08-29T19:46:00.004+10:00

Tonight I want to talk about the concept of privilege. I was going to blog about this on Fat Heffalump but on further thought I think it's about more than just fat discrimination. It's about any kind of discrimination or prejudice.

Let's start with a definition.

privilege: A special advantage, immunity, permission, right or benefit granted to or enjoyed by an individual class or caste.

The context I am talking about today is the idea that any member of a majority has privilege over the minority, and therefore cannot understand, criticise or challenge that minority in their thinking.

I'm going to probably make myself quite unpopular here, but that's ok, I'm used to it. But I really think too many people use the concept of privilege as a cop out when it comes to discussions and debates.

While I do think the concept of privilege is valid, and sometimes yes, someone who is particularly close minded and cloistered in their privilege is never going to get it. But I think all too often those who feel marginalised and are unable to articulate their point just throw their hands up and state "Oh I can't get through to you, you're coming from privilege."

When the truth is, they either want out of the discussion, or don't have a valid argument to continue it. It is often used as the metaphorical equivalent of taking your bat and ball and going home.

Perhaps I see this because technically I live on both sides of the privilege. I am a fat woman, so I do not have privilege on my side in that aspect. But I am also a Christian in Western society, which technically does put me in privilege.

So I've seen it from both sides of the fence so to speak. As I said, I do believe there are instances when people just simply cannot understand or they use their privilege to silence those in the minority. But I think that those of us who are in the minority for whatever reason need to be very careful about how we use the cry of privilege.

Do we we really want to end up being the boys and girls who cried wolf?

Sunday Morning Wordplay

2009-08-16T10:29:00.002+10:00

I've had a self imposed rest weekend this week. I told myself that I wasn't allowed to accept any invitations out, because I needed some time to just rest and sleep properly and recharge the batteries. By Friday morning I had such frightening green and purple circles under my eyes from simply racing around like a madwoman for the past few months, it gave me the determination to carry out a weekend of rest.

I was bored by 10am Saturday morning. It is now 11am Sunday morning and I have accepted an invitation to go out for dinner tonight because I'm feeling rested enough and think if I stay cooped up I will probably get very angry and ranty.

So while laying in bed this morning mulling over a bit of douchebag behaviour I suffered last night (which I will blog on Fat Heffalump later when the sting isn't so sharp) I came up with a brilliant word. What's the word you ask? Well...

Douchebuggery: when two or more douchebags get together and encourage each other in their douchebag behaviour.

Like it? You can use it if you like.

I posted it to Twitter and in response Agent X (who has a rather awesome web comic) responded with "how about "Douchebraggery" - where douchebags talk up their exploits."

I like that one too!

And last night I used "Douchebaguette". That's a young female douchebag, usually seen in packs on public transport on a Friday or Saturday night, slightly pissed and highly abusive.

I am sure there are lots and lots of others, so I'd like you all to put your thinking caps on and post some suggestions to the comments below. Let's create a whole collection of words to express our feelings and thoughts about the douchebags of the world!

Go to it!

My Epiphany on Love, Hate and God

2009-08-12T11:02:00.007+10:00

This morning while laying in bed, I was thinking about the post I read over on Rickofawesome's blog last night. Not only is it a great rant, very eloquently put, but it's saddening that in 2009 he needs to have this rant. I was laying there thinking about how sad it makes me that people use God to justify their own hateful behaviour and attitudes, when I personally don't believe that is what God is about at all. My thoughts ran over how people like those that comment in this Courier Mail article, regarding MP Dorothy Pratt's comments in State Parliament about homosexuality being "not a normal part of life", use God or religion to spread hate.

Stick with me here for a bit.

Now let me just clear this up, I am a Christian. I don't belong to any denomination because I've not been able to find one that fits me and my beliefs, but I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and therefore that makes me Christian. I don't need to belong to a denomination or church to be Christian. I also don't need to prove my faith, evangelise it, defend it or convert anyone to it. I don't care if people believe different to me, so long as they allow me to hold my faith without prejudice. Personally I believe God is God, regardless of what name you call Him by or if you split Him up into a bunch of Gods that all serve the same purpose. But that's by the by.

But as well as being Christian, I also believe a whole bunch of things that people calling themselves Christian spread a whole lot of hate against. I believe that a person's sexuality is private and personal and has no bearing on their worth as a human being. I believe that pornography and prostitution have a place in a healthy society. I believe that there are circumstances where abortion is a legitimate option (sometimes sadly the only option). I believe that religion has no place in education, health care or government. I believe that women are equal to men. I believe that if someone is partaking in an activity that harms no-one but themselves, then it is their right to do so. I also swear like a trouper, drink like a fish and believe in pre-marital sex. These beliefs will draw me hatred from many of my so-called fellow Christians.

Which draws me back to my thoughts as I lay in bed this morning, thinking of the hate that so many people spread in the name of God. And I had an epiphany. It was a big one too. That epiphany was:

God is Love.

Simple isn't it? Or at least it feels that way when you look at that little three word sentence. But so many people simply don't get it. They spread hatred and anger (which is just the expression of hatred) in the name of God when they are actually doing the very opposite of what I believe God is. And it doesn't matter who or what your God is.

But it really goes for everyone, both those of faith and those who are atheists. If you want to achieve anything in your life, bring love into it. I'm not talking about sex. Or a relationship, though that form of love will count. I'm also not talking about a big hippy ideal of peace and love and groovy man.

If you want happiness, find love in your life. Now calm down, I'm not saying that you have to be in a relationship to have happiness, which is what everyone thinks when one mentions finding love. I'm saying focus on the things you love. Your family, your friends, your job, your art, your pets, whatever. But most of all, love yourself. If you can't find love for yourself, your struggle is still going to be there my friend. You don't have to get all weird and announce "Oh I am loving myself sick right now!" But you do have to find yourself feeling a deep like for who you are. It's not an easy thing to do, but work on making yourself the best you can possibly and you will find that love.

If you spread hate, if you spend your day filled with hate, then that's all you're going to get back in return. People hating you back. All you're going to see in your life are the things you hate. You're never going to notice the good things that are right there in front of you while you are all about hate.

It's ok to disagree with things. It's ok to be passionate in that disagreement. But hateful? That's what's bringing you the shit in your life. Hate doesn't make you a better person, it makes you a worse one. If you disagree with something passionately, which you have the right to do, even if that belief is harmful or discriminatory to others, find evidence about it, discuss it in an intelligent, rational, respectful manner and listen when you are presented the opposing view. Even if others believe you are wrong, you have the right to hold that belief so long as you do so with respect. You have the right to hold a belief, you do not necessarily have the right to act on that belief. Learn the difference.

But most of all, stop hiding behind religion to justify your hate. God doesn't want you to spread hate. No matter which God or Gods you believe in. Besides you're fucking it up for the rest of us who would like to be respected in our faith.

A Post for the Guys...

2009-08-05T19:55:00.007+10:00

This post is especially for the guys. I would like to ask you all to please go and read this article:

On Being a No-Name Blogger Using Her Real Name - Kate Harding

Ladies may read it as well, but I wager it's all nothing you haven't heard or thought before.

I am not using my real name. However many of you know my real name, or I have enough information on here for anyone who knows me, to know that this is my blog. I did have my real name on my Twitter too but changed that, however I use my first name regularly there. I have toyed with using my real name everywhere, as I really want to be transparent in my blogging/tweeting etc, I want my name to be connected to my writing, but I have had some troubling experiences in the life of my blogging. I have been lucky so far, I've not had anything truly frightening, but I have had some upsetting experiences.

However I don't want those to take my joy of writing, tweeting, sharing photos and videos away from me. I want to stay transparent and open, I'm proud of that. I want to share my experiences and the wisdom I gain along the way, and dammit my opinions too.

So that's why I'm asking particularly the guys to read the Kate Harding article linked above. Because when you fellas let it slide when some douchebag makes our lives miserable, or insults us, or "drunk tweets" feral sexual comments about us, or harasses us in blog comments, or rolls their eyes when we get upset about something and so on, you're giving those misogynistic fuckers the message that it's ok. And that encourages them to take it to the next step, and the next, and beyond.

But I would also like to take this opportunity to thank those men who DO stand up and say "Oi, that's not right." when these things happen. I would like you to know how much it matters to women when you do that. Not just because you're seen as being on our side, but because it gives us a feeling that we are safer having your support. That not every man is out to crush us down, shut us up, force us into our "place". That there is hope for change for women who wish to be seen, who don't want to be invisible.

So thank you.

Things on Twitter that Give Me the Shits

2009-08-03T18:58:00.003+10:00

I've had a yucky day. Mostly because I'm unwell (nothing serious, just ick, you know?) and some work crap is bothering me. So I'm going to be totally self-indulgent and have a rant about things that shit me on Twitter*. No, these are not rules or guidelines or what everyone should do. they are things that shit ME, and I am allowed to be shit by things. Get comfy. Or bugger off if you're easily offended. Don't say you weren't warned.

Twittascope. It's spam. Turn that shit off.
Those quiz things. That shit belongs on Facebook where I can hide it.
People with no avatar picture. I hate that brown and blue default o_O thing. It's rude, put a picture up there. I don't care what it is. You, your cat, a flower, a cartoon, just put SOMETHING there so you have identification.
People using the C word. I am the swearin' librarian, and I can swear with the best of 'em (here, have a "fuck", just for the fun of it), but the C word is really misogynistic and has no masculine equivalent. I just hate it.
Links posted with no explanation as to what they are. Stick your rickrolling up your arse.
Boring people who tweet the same thing every day, or that I can tell what day of the week it is by what they're tweeting. They may as well be saying "It's Tuesday, I had meatloaf, same as last Tuesday". Zzzzz!
Got no location or bio in your profile? Piss off! I'd rather you just put your country if you don't want to put your home town.
When people piss all over avatar colours or twibbons that are symbols of goodwill, when they're doing fuck all for any causes themselves.
Constant spammy links to articles about your spiritual beliefs (or lack of them). Stop trying to convert me.
ANY tweets that are denigrating to anyone else's spiritual belief (or lack of them).
People who shit all over those who post pictures of their cat/kids/pet rock. So what if you're not interested, unfollow. Some of us LIKE cute baby/pet pics.
When people bitch about twitter competitions. They're usually the same people posting three hundred spammy links to some anti-religion site or three hundred articles about how Apple is better than Microsoft.
Apple haters.
Microsoft haters
Haters.
Those who excuse disgusting behaviour through tweets as "Oh he was drunk."
Those who shit on newbies. Everyone was new at some stage, and the whole point of social media is through SHARING.
If someone is innocently doing something that is poor form, just tell them. If they continue to do it, THEN get snarky.
Baying for blood. Put the flaming torches down people.
Passive aggressive bullshit.
Cliques
Those who pick on the odd typo or spelling mistake. It's fucking Twitter, not a thesis. (I will admit that every tweet having spelling mistakes or typos does wear a bit thin though).
People who are not famous (ie Stephen Fry or Nathan Fillion) but think they are too important to respond when asked a question, or acknowledge someone who answers their question.
Social media experts.
Any kind of experts.
Businesses that have Twitter accounts and then ignore people who tweet to them.
Businesses that spam with constant links to their products.
Meatmarket tweets. All that shit about girlpashing and photos of their tits and trying to get into each other's pants. Take it to the Normanby you lot.
Lurkers.
Folks worrying about the number of people who follow them. Or folks touting how to get more followers. The numbers don't matter. How you engage and connect with people does.
Shitting on other people's music/movie/book/whatever taste because you think your taste is "better/more important". It's not, get over it.
Bitchiness. Sneering. It doesn't make you look cool or funny. You just look like a prick.
Superiority complexes. "Well I knew all about it, I can't possibly understand how YOU didn't".
Constant "Fuck my life!" tweets trying to gain attention. Everyone goes through tough patches and your Twitter buddies are there for you when you need to vent or feel crap. But when all you do is moan for attention, it's pathetic. Particularly if you're never there for others in return.
Getting involved in other people's discussions when you're not even talking about the same thing as they are. Jump on in if you're on topic, but leave people alone if you're on a tangent!
Posting things that are Not Safe For Work without an NSFW warning.
RACISM. Not acceptable, EVER.

I am sure there is a lot more (that's a lot already, I know!) but I've had my rant and I feel better now. It's been a bitch of a day, I needed that.

Again, these are not "rules" for Twitter, they're things that just shit me personally (and make me unfollow usually).

*note: if I am following you on Twitter, this is NOT about you. I unfollow people who shit me.

When I Grow Up...

2009-07-28T20:41:00.004+10:00

Tonight I want to talk a little bit about what I want to be in life. I don't mean what I want to do for a job, that whole "When I grow up I want to be a truck driver." (Though when I was a kid I had a t-shirt that said exactly that, thanks for giving me BOYS hand me downs Mother). I mean who I want to be as a person, what I want to bring to this rather amazing world of ours.

Now y'all know I love Craig Ferguson. You're probably all sick of me posting stuff of his on my blog. Well, tough. Because it's my blog and I'll post Craig Ferguson if I want to.

That out of the way, Craig is a prime example of the person I want to be. The person I sometimes am, but can't always hit the mark like he does. It's not because I think he's cute and funny. Yes he is those things. But what I really admire is his intelligence, passion, respect, joy, articulacy, wit and sense of wonder.

I have so much respect for someone who embodies those values. Even more someone who is articulate enough to express them. I want to be someone who not only shows intelligence, but also is able to see the joy and wonder in the world. I want to be someone who can laugh at the absurdity of life, but also wonder at the awesome stuff too. I want to have passion for things I do and believe in. I want to be able to express myself in an articulate manner. But more than anything, respect for myself and for others is really important to me.

Now I've shared some of the videos I find hilariously funny from the vast library on YouTube of Craig Ferguson's work before. But now I want to share with you a few other bits and pieces, which to me, illustrate qualities that I really admire.

Let's start with this one, which I think is one of my favourite pieces (or rants, he is known for a rant or two, is Craig) he has done:

What I admire most about this piece is his absolute passion for the subject matter, and the fact that he does not dumb his argument down for his audience at any moment. He still approaches the subject with some humour, but you can see the passion in every word. I love that he takes on subjects that MATTER, rather than just joking about the same old stuff everyone else is, because it's fashionable or topical or appeals to his sponsors. When it means a lot to him, he will get in there and speak up. But never in a disrespectful way - notice that while he's criticising the deification of youth, he's also pointing out that inexperience is part of being young, that it's not something to be ashamed of.

Another quality I would like to be known for is the ability to speak articulately on ANY subject. That doesn't mean I want to be an expert on every subject, but to have the ability to learn about new things my whole life, and be able to have an informed opinion and understanding, and to be able to converse/discuss or present on new things all the time. Craig has an incredible skill with this - he works with only a couple of writers who give him some form and ideas for his show, and is known for only using reminders and guides on his teleprompter rather than having it all written for him. And he'll have a go at almost any subject.

I always loved the character of Coker in John Wyndham's "The Day of the Triffids" who was a professional orator who's slogan was "Subject no object."

I also want to share with you a quote of his that I found:

"Cynicism is the true refuge of the pseudo-intellectual. Cynicism is easy. Joy is an extremely advanced spiritual and intellectual tenet."

I love this. Oh how I love this! I truly believe that it is easy to sneer and smirk at the world, to always believe the worst. To be jaundiced and jaded, scornful. Most cynics believe they're oh so intelligent for this attitude.

But I disagree. To fill your life with joy, to look for the positive as much as possible. Some equate it with naivety or being a "Pollyanna", or viewing the world through "rose coloured glasses", but I don't believe that is what the opposite of cynicism truly is. We all know that life can be cruel, or pointless at times. But cynics tend to have that view as the default. I think that even in the most difficult of times, there can be moments of joy and wonder to be found. In fact, those are the things that make the difficult times pass a lot quicker.

Then there is the ability to laugh at yourself. For example, I love this little montage from one of Craig's opening monologues of him totally making fun of himself:

It's juvenile, it's silly, and it's delightfully self-deprecating. I want to be able to laugh at myself and be an idiot sometimes. I want to be childish, silly and goofy, as well as being articulate, intteligent, passionate and respectful.

So who do you want to be? What qualities are important to you? Is there someone that you truly admire as a person and want to embody the same qualities as?

Anti-Depressants Anyone?

2009-07-20T19:46:00.003+10:00

Well if you've read this blog before this post, you know I've been suffering a bout of depression lately, and while I'm pretty good at just waiting it out until it passes, and doing a few things to take care of myself, today it was kicking my arse a bit. So I decided to be totally indulgent in something that I KNOW makes me feel good, and that's Craig Ferguson lip sync videos.

Half an hour later I feel great. I've laughed, I've chair-danced, I've sung and I've bought a bunch of songs off iTunes.

Why do I love them? Well firstly because I have a mega crush on Craig. He's everything that is yum - handsome, funny, intelligent and a complete nutbar sense of humour.

Secondly, because he clearly picks songs he enjoys himself, and has lots of fun dancing around like a nut to, and lip syncing.

The fact that he semi-choreographs some of them cracks me up.

It's one of the few places you will see a totally unco black dude. The fact that he gets rhythmically pwned by two geeky white guys is hilarious.

The little man in leather trousers has a hot body.

AND THERE ARE PUPPETS PEOPLE!!

So I'm going to share the collection I have found here, and you can come back anytime you like for a dose of Craig's madness. I am telling you, it's good for what ails ya.

Britney Spears - Oops I Did it Again

A Duran Duran cover of Grandmaster Flash's White Lines. Great song.

I think this one is my favourite, mostly because I love the song:

Say Hey (I Love You) - Michael Franti and Spearhead

It's a Wonderful Night - Fatboy Slim (the first Craig lip sync video I ever saw)

Kronos the Monkey lip syncs to She Taught me To Yodel by Frank Ifield (whom I knew when I was a kid!!!)

Actually I think if you have watched Kronos above and not laughed, I can't be your friend any more.

Istanbul - They Might be Giants

The Lonely Goatherd from The Sound of Music.

So there you have it. My favourite kind of anti-depressants. And if you dig Craig Ferguson and want to see more of his videos, may I suggest checking out Malinky2Stoatir on YouTube and if you use Twitter, follow @LipSyncingScot who is a fan working to share more of Craig's work.

Fake it 'Til You Make It

2009-07-19T20:14:00.003+10:00

You may have heard the phrase "Fake it 'til you make it." before. Often people use it in reference to a subject matter they're supposed to know about, or as a show of confidence when they feel they don't have any.

I use it in another way though. I use it when I'm struggling with depression.

I've had some wobbles again over the past week, mostly because I've pushed myself too hard and not got enough sleep. I know that when I get really busy with work and my social life, that I don't sleep enough, and then I tend to fall over in a bit of a heap. It used to be really hard to deal with, but these days I treat it the same as I would getting physically run down - I take some time to rest and relax, and take care of myself with eating well, drinking lots of water and getting some fresh air.

There is one other thing I know helps. Faking it until I make it. Instead of spending my down times shut up avoiding the world, I try to connect with it instead. Even though I don't feel like it, I know in the long run, it helps me shake off the black dog.

Whether that is virtually or in reality, it doesn't matter. Spending time online immersed in upbeat, fun stuff (whether it's conversations on Twitter, watching videos on YouTube, surfing around Tumblr, etc) really helps, especially if you're like me and have run yourself into the ground physically, and need to chill a wee bit. But if you're physically ok, getting out is good too. Whether it be with friends or family, or even on your own. I will carry myself off to a movie if I want to get out and about but can't catch up with people.

I know that quite often when depression hits, you just don't feel like getting out. It's hard enough to get out of bed, let alone out of the house. But it is something that will make you feel so much better, if you get yourself doing something that makes you feel good. And if you don't know what that is, try some new things, you might surprise yourself.

All in all, remember the phrase "Fake it 'til you make it." and try it when you find yourself dogged by the depression fairy. I know it works for me.

Act Your Age...

2009-07-08T20:25:00.006+10:00

You know when people make those throwaway comments with a bite? The ones that they toss at you glibly, but underneath is a slightly vinegar tone, that tells you that it means more than they want you to believe?

Well I had one of those come my way yesterday. I was telling someone about how much fun I have at the first Friday of the month BTUB events. To which the little comment came back "What, don't you like spending time with people your own age anymore?" It was said in a jesting tone, but with just enough vinegar to alert me to the fact that the commenter was clearly getting a dig in. I didn't comment on it at the time, but I've been thinking about it.

Firstly, yes, BTUB is a Twitter group. Oooooh, people from the internets! Watch out that they're not all weird stalkers and child pornographers, won't you? I meet with folks from the internet all the time. Have been doing so now for about a decade, and before that I was meeting with penpals I made through things like Rolling Stone magazine and even earlier, Dolly magazine. I'm still alive. I've not yet been stalked (that I know of) and other than a few annoying people (far less than I've met through my workplace and other "real life" events), I've not had any really bad experiences.

Secondly, it's a pretty mixed age group. The youngest I can think of is about 20, and they range to maybe up to a decade older than I am. Maybe more (you know, some folks have the youthful gene). I read somewhere that more than 60% of Twitter users are over 35. I'm just a teensy bit over 35 myself.

However, yes, there are a lot of people who are "BTUBbers" who are under 30. Most of the people I seem to have clicked with the most are under 30. And personally, I don't care what someone's age is, it's just a number of years they have rotated around the sun.

But one thing I am noticing is, that the reason I tend to gravitate towards those younger than my own generation, is that I find them refreshingly different to my "peers" so to speak. Now I am generalising here, and I am not saying that EVERYONE of my age or older fits the cookie cutter. But I have made a few observations about the people I find myself surrounded by lately, which I will share with you all.

Less cynicism. Nothing bores me more than cynics trying oh-so-hard to be cool and detached. Sneering at anything goofy, joyful, silly, entertaining or God forbid, popular. I love being around people who see fun in life, who enjoy things simply for the pleasure they give, rather than some lofty ideal or to impress others. It's so much more pleasant to be around.

Willingness to change/learn. The day I stop learning is the day I stop living. There are times I am wrong. I like to discover more about myself, others and the world. I like those who feel the same way. I like those who are eager to try new things, in the same way I am. That doesn't mean I don't like old favourites too, but I don't want to ever find myself in a rut.

Thinking outside the cookie cutter. Whether it be in clothes, music, books, movies, I don't want to ever find myself not trying something new. Or shunning something that is geeky or nerdy or not in fashion, just because it's pretty or fun or pleasant. I don't want to find myself wearing a "uniform" of clothes because it's what everyone else wears. I want to admire silver boots and purple tights and Dr Who scarves and blue dyed hair. I want to eat cupcakes in the park, or get dolled up and go to high tea, rather than stand around a barbecue with a chardy while the blokes have a beer and turn the sausages, talking about what the kiddies did at kindy or what the boss said at work.

One I've noticed from the guys: not intimidated by a woman who is independant, outgoing and confident. Oh so many guys of my generation and older like to whinge how they want an independant woman, how they want an outgoing lady with confidence but only find women who want them to pay their mortgage and tell them what to do. But when they meet a woman with confidence, they run a fucking mile. And tell their mates what a ball-breaking, aggressive bitch she is. It's refreshing to find guys who aren't bothered a jot about an outgoing, independant woman, who mostly see it as normal.

And finally, a willingness to go out of their way to show caring for each other. I think it's part of the cynicism, but I am wearied by people who like to call themselves friends, but won't inconvenience themselves for their friends. And I mean inconvenience, not at anyones expense. I'm not talking handing over your life savings, I'm talking about letting someone know you are there to listen, even though you have your own busy life. Some time ago I found myself surrounded by people who were more than happy to have me put in all the effort in a friendship, but the minute I showed any sign of need myself... well, you could hear the crickets chirping. Over the past year or so, I've found myself gathering a lovely tribe of people who give as well as receive, and yes, most of them are indeed younger than I am.

Anyway, I'm not saying everyone over 35 is boring and restricted and selfish. You know how I hate generalisations. And perhaps it is skewed by the fact that I'm meeting people who are interested in the same things I am (but I am including those I meet through work, other friends and such as well). However, for a long time, I felt tired and bored and I've changed my method of socialising, to one which happens to include people of all ages. But yes, I am often, but not always, drawn to those who are younger than I am because they're not so caught up in appearances and and what other people think.

I'll probably get a few of those barbed comments for this too... *wink*!

Wisdom From One Who Has Suffered

2009-06-22T22:39:00.003+10:00

Ahh I love Twitter. It gives me soooooooooo much inspiration to WRITE!

Tonight I want to talk about depression. Actually I just want to give some straight up dot points about lessons I have learnt in my journey with the whole depression crap.

Just a bit of background. I have suffered depression my whole life. I always will suffer depression for the rest of my life. It is both chemical and situational. However I have had fantastic help and worked very hard for a lot of years to get it to a manageable place, where it no longer rules my life. I still have times where it is a struggle, but I now recognise the black dog when he comes to visit, and can adjust my thinking and behaviour enough to be able to get him back down to a teacup size that I can shove in a metaphorical box and get back to my life!

Anyway, here are some wisdoms I have learnt, that I want to share with you all.

You don't have to be normal. There is no such thing as normal. Each of us is just doing the best we can with what we've got. And that's perfectly ok.
Stop making excuses. Stop saying you'll do things "when". Don't wait to lose weight, get a boyfriend, get a job, have money, have a baby, whatever. You'll only regret it when you look back at all the time you wasted.
Get help. Go to a GP. If they don't help you, go to another GP. It took me 20 years to find a GP who would help me. When I found her, she literally saved my life. Ask people who their GP's are. ASK the GP's if they will bulk bill you after the first visit. Mine did, she said "I want you to come back here and I know you won't if you can't afford it, so I will bulk bill you." She still does, 5 years later.
Accept help when it is offered, even if it is not all the answers you wanted. Say thank you, and people will help you even more.
Find gratitude. I know it sounds all Oprah-ish, but just being grateful for breathing got me through some days where nothing else did. Being grateful for someone who says "I care." Being grateful for a cold drink, or a tv show, or warm slippers, or the bus driver that was nice. Gratitude not only gives you something positive to focus on, but a tiny bit of gratitude for the people who do show kindness will only have them showing MORE kindness.
Accept that sometimes there is no answer just yet. That you need to just solve something else, like where your next meal is coming from, or getting dressed, or getting through a day of work. The answers will come.
Take responsibility for your life and that of your children. Nobody else's life is your responsibility. But your life (and those of your children) are the responsibility of no other.
Breathe.
Get dressed. My God, that was the BEST lesson I learned. Get up at a normal hour (I used to set before 10am), shower, and dress. You would be surprised at what that achieves.
Get out of the house. Go to the library. Go to the park. On payday, go to a coffee shop. If you can, be around friends and family that are "inflaters" (they inflate you, rather than those people who deflate you). Sit in your bloody back yard if you have to, just get out.
Stop thinking that your situation is worse than everyone elses. Believe me, some people have dealt with shit that you could NEVER imagine, in your worst nightmares, and survived.
BELIEVE that there is more to life than depression. If for no other reason, than the fact that I am telling you now. Believe me. I promise you I am not lying to you.

Another Challenge Post

2009-06-14T21:05:00.003+10:00

I think it's time for another challenge post. This one comes from the ever charming Lee from Quit Your Day Job, a talented artist and all-round nice bloke.

His suggestion is if you had to describe yourself via a film, which one would it be, and why?

That's actually a REALLY tough question. I've actually been thinking about it for a couple of weeks trying to pin down a film that actually describes me in any way, and I'll have to admit, I am absolutely stumped.

However, I can think of a couple films that have actually shaped who I am as a person, so perhaps those will suffice (Lee? I hope so!)

The first one is a movie that I have loved for many, many years. The Colour Purple.

I actually can't remember the first time I saw it, I think I was in my early to mid teens. The reason it speaks to me so much is because Celie maintains her dignity despite the horrific way she is treated her whole life. I was inspired by her strength and the beauty that shines from within Whoopi Goldberg in this role too. I guess the outwardly funny-looking woman who has suffered at the hands of many people in her life just spoke to me.

Another that really resonated with me was Amazing Grace starring Ioan Gruffudd and Albert Finney.

I saw this one a couple of years ago at the cinema and was so deeply moved by the story of abolitionist William Wilberforce that I needed some quiet time afterwards to digest all the lightbulb moments that I had throughout the film. The one big thing I got from this movie was that greatness isn't about grandiosity. Strong, steady convictions are worth just as much as huge grandiose gestures... if not more. It also spoke to me a lot about my spirituality and belief systems.

So there you go, a couple of films that made me think about who I am and what is important to me.

Movie Review - The Hangover

2009-06-13T20:40:00.003+10:00

Today I saw one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. It is called "The Hangover". I'll kick you off with the trailer for it:

Now I know, some of you may be thinking "Oh another bromance road trip movie, full of puerile sexist jokes, no thanks." Thinking along the lines of all those other tacky sexist movies aimed at the fellas. But you would be very, very wrong.

Yes, this is a movie about four blokes who got completely fucked up at a bachelor party in Las Vegas. Yes, there is some puerile humour in there. But that's where the stereotype ends. I have to tell you, while the trailer is good, it is only the absolute tip of the iceberg with the humour in this movie. As it is rated MA15+ in Australia, there is a lot of it they can't show in the trailer. Not that it's offensive or crude or violent - it's just adult humour. Particularly as there are scenes that Zach Galifianakis is without pants. And there's lots of drinking references of course.

I saw it today with my friend Elizabeth, and seriously, it is a long time since I laughed so hard at a movie. It's well cast with three very, very funny guys Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper. It has a good, solid storyline. It has a heart. The mystery of what they got up to the night before is one that keeps you hooked into the story. And I will tell you, the cameo by Mike Tyson is bloody brilliant. Don't get me wrong, Mike Tyson is a nutcase animal, he just is one that has been a good sport for this film, and his cameo just works perfectly.

Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms really stand out for me too. Ed Helms carries the frantically panicking, henpecked, geeky dentist so well, his absolute freak-outs throughout the film are just brilliant. Zach Galifianakis looks like he'd play a total foul-mouthed, unlikeable animal, but his character Alan is strangely endearing in is oddness, what with his polite manner (he never swears once in the whole movie) and his affinity with the baby, a dog, the hooker (Heather Graham) etc is adorable, but not the rude chubby kid with the mobile phone!

And Bradley Cooper isn't a chore to look at either.

Honestly, this movie had me laughing so hard I was struggling to breathe, my face hurt, my throat is sore tonight and I am going to buy the DVD. Because I truly think that it's going to be one of those movies that everyone quotes at each other, and tells each other that they just HAVE to see.

Go see it. I doubt you will regret it. And that means you too girls!

A Colossal Failure

2009-06-08T18:01:00.004+10:00

Isn't a long weekend a delicious thing?

I've been able to spend mine catching up on all the bits and pieces online that I haven't had time to look at/read/watch over the past few weeks, because I've been so busy. Mostly because my DVD player decided to die on Saturday, which meant that I couldn't spend hours watching Firefly on DVD like I planned to, so it gave me this opportunity.

I favourite a lot of things in my browser and in Twitter to look at later. Mostly it's videos and articles. Sometimes when I'm really busy, I find myself with pages and pages of articles and stuff to work back through. I always go back to the very oldest stuff and work my way through methodically, so that nothing gets missed.

Today, I got to this little gem that I'll post for you below. It's a video from Maker Faire in San Francisco a week or two ago, of a talk Adam Savage gave about failure.

You all know by now what a huge Mythbusters fan I am, and yes, Adam is very cool and has probably the most awesome job in the world (who else but the Mythbusters get to make stuff and then destroy it in spectacular ways?)

But there is another reason I really dig Adam. I think as well as being lots of fun, super-creative and a joy to watch with all his enthusiasm, I think he has a really cool outlook on life, which does manifest in some incredible wisdoms sometimes. So before I go on, here's the video. It is an hour long, but well worth watching:

While this talk is still a rough one and I'm sure Adam will refine it over the coming months (as he did with his previous amazing talk on obsession), even at this point I find it inspirational and thought provoking.

I am learning that it is ok to fail. It's not ok to do something half-arsed or without thought, but if I give it my best shot, and learn from any mistakes I make, then it's fine. Because as Adam says, it's the failures in life that gear you up and lead you to the successes. It is the failures than help you refine your work to be consistently better and better each time. And as he says, there is no shame in owning those failures either. Sure it feels bad, sometimes downright painful, and takes some getting over, but I believe so long as you own it, and learn from it, you will be better off in the long run.

So what's the most colossal failure you have ever made? Did you learn from it and move on, or are you still cringing?

Did I Say That?

2009-06-07T21:58:00.004+10:00

I think it's time to take up another blog challenge.

This one comes from the Library Nerd herself, Naomi. She suggested that I blog about times I've made inappropriate comments (she is aware of my severe case of blurtitis) or that I've had them made to me, or heard them. I think that's a great idea, because I've heard some CRACKERS over the years.

I think the worst one anyone has ever said to me, was a woman I was having a conversation with about cosmetic surgery. She said "Well you don't have to worry, fat people don't get wrinkles."

Okkkayyyyy

She was actually being complimentary at the time. The guy who was standing with us during the conversation literally choked on his coffee.

There are always the ones out of the mouths of babes too. Kids have a real knack of just blurting out truths that are inappropriate for the time and place. Like the four year old who raised his hand in class when I asked "Who at home has someone who smokes?" I called on him with "Yes Daniel, who smokes at your house?" to which Daniel replied "Uncle Marty, sometimes through a billy!" (note: billy is a local slang for a bong)

Also the little girl who when I complimented her on her pretty dress, replied "Thanks, my Mummy stole it for me." and her big brother nudged her and went "Shhhhh!"

I'm just trying to think of the worst clanger I've ever dropped. I'm so used to doing it now, because I have almost no filter between my brain and my mouth (it's a sign of honesty, I believe, got to have some positive benefit to it!) that I think I get over it when I make some kind of horrible faux pas much quicker than I used to.

I do remember announcing to a room full of my father's golf buddies when I was a kid, the reason he had got so good at his golf game was "Cos he got the sack and plays golf all the time and hasn't got any money for beer." Yeah, well done Kath! He kicked my arse for that one!

So, now it's your turn. What's the worst clanger you've ever let slip, or heard someone else say? Trot out your best inappropriate comments now!

Still a Nice Girl...

2009-06-01T20:08:00.003+10:00

An interesting observation. Every time I share my opinion on Twitter, I lose "followers". It doesn't bother me, but I have noticed it happening every time.

It's an interesting phenomenon. I notice that other assertive women who feel comfortable in sharing their opinion have the same result.

However, when a man shares his opinion, he gains more followers. Folks pipe up "Hear! Hear!"

Even though it's the year 2009, women are not allowed to voice their opinions. If they debate a topic, they're "harping" or "bitching". Or worse, if they do debate it with another woman, sometimes that woman just turns to bitchy personal comments that have no bearing on the discussion.

During a debate, women are told to "get over it" or "can't you just let go." However the guys are encourage to push the point and keep debating. For men, it's called banter, for women, it's called narking.

I used to bite my tongue and not say anything, even when I believed deeply in something. I used to be a "nice girl" who minded her manners, kept her thoughts to herself and towed the line. But I learnt that all I was doing was making myself miserable.

Now that I have more confidence in myself, my self esteem is stronger, I will speak up. Especially if it something around people's attitudes that makes others feel inferior. It's something I'm passionate about, the fact that some people believe themselves above others, or they put others down to make themselves feel superior.

When I believe something in my gut, I will speak up for it. Like my earlier blog on rape (which I copped a lot of criticism for), or a debate over someone's superior attitude, or fat discrimination, disrespect to faith, all subjects that mean something to me.

That's not to mean I won't listen to intelligent, respectful discussion on it, in fact there is nothing I love better than to have someone challenge my thinking and them allow me to challenge theirs. Some of the most stimulating discussions I've ever have were heated debates between myself and someone who had a very different opinion/belief.

When I went to visit my beloved friend Ian in Canada after not seeing him for about 13 years, one thing I was looking forward to the most was an "argument" with him. We got into one of our famous debates (which was over something quite silly) and someone said something to us to settle down, and I remember turning and grinning and saying "No way, I've waited 13 years for this!" and he replied "I love you Kath!"

I love being able to argue with someone and know that it's not a reflection on their feelings towards me, it's just a good solid debate. To know that they're going to treat me with the same respect in the debate that I treat them with.

I no longer care if people don't like me for speaking up, for being assertive and sharing my opinion. Because those that matter accept me for who I am, and appreciate my honesty and willingness to back my own beliefs. It took a long time before I was able to do that, but boy is it liberating when you reach that point!

I'm still a nice girl. I'm a nice girl with a good gut feeling and belief in respect and speaking up!

Five Fives

2009-05-31T22:14:00.004+10:00

For those of you who don't follow me on Twitter or Facebook, a couple of days ago I asked folks to challenge me with blog post subjects, as I was feeling the need to "stretch my legs" a bit with my blogging. I have some suggestions, which I will start to work on over the next few days, but I'm still open to suggestions (er, challenges) if you have any. Everything suitable will be attempted!

So this is going to be my first challenge blog, and I'm going to start with a nice simple one until I find my feet.

@lilabris (who is my luvverly friend Kylie) challenged me to a "5 Things" meme. Which is basically groups of five things about me. So, here goes.

Five Favourite Musicians Ever (tough one)

Elvis Costello
kd lang
Tom Waits
Queen
Indigo Girls

Five Cities I Could Live In (Besides Brisbane)

New York City - it's all shades of awesome!
Perth - so pretty and laid back, and much less built up
San Francisco - it has EVERYTHING and is very creative
Chicago - or nearby, I have beloved friends that live at Aurora, I'd love to be near them and Chicago was so funky.
Melbourne - I love the coffee culture and the CBD is so lovely there.

Five Favourite Fictional Characters

Mr Darcy - Pride and Prejudice (what woman doesn't?)
Nick Schultz - Blue Heelers (what can I say, I fell in love when I was very young)
Anne Shirley - Anne of Green Gables
Hellboy - one of my favourite comic book heroes of all time.
Arthur Dent - I always kind of felt that I know just how Arthur feels in the Hitchhiker books.

Five Strange Things I Have Eaten

Echidna (damn good!)
Scorpion (crunchy)
Testicles (Rocky Mountain oysters, bush oysters, prairie oysters, whatever you call them)
Haggis (it was worse than the testicles)
Ostrich (kind of beefy really)

Five Random Facts about Me

I used to own a music shop.
When I was 21, I started a radio station with my friend Marty. It's still running today, over 15 years later.
I collect postcards, but they must have gone through the post (not necessarily to me)
Peas make me gag.
I am a sucker for underdogs and "waifs and strays" in life.

So there you have blog challenge post number 1! Watch this space for more to come.

I Need a Lover that Wont Drive Me Crazy...

2009-05-28T20:39:00.005+10:00

Any of you who follow me on Twitter, or my Facebook page, will probably have seen my statement last night that I am rather fed up with being single at the moment. Please don't take this as a pity party, I don't in any way feel sorry for myself, just a bit bored and frustrated with this particular place in my life, and I feel I'm ready to change that.

What did surprise me was the number of people who suggested that I find a "friend with benefits".

Hang on a minute... didn't I just say I was sick of being single? Doesn't that imply that I would like to be part of a relationship?

Personally I find the idea of "friends with benefits" quite insulting. So what you're saying is, you just want to have sex with me, but you don't want to value me enough to actually have a relationship with me? And I should feel good about that because...???

Anyhoo, I'm actually in the market for a relationship. A no games, no bullshit, adult relationship. I'm not in any way desperate, I don't feel less of a woman because I am single (I used to, but that was about low self esteem, not being single) and I don't have any agenda of any prospective partner other than that he treat me with respect and honesty. I'm not out for a man to support me, rescue me or "complete me".

I would really just like to share life with someone. Oh and the sex. I miss sex! Just because I don't like the friends with benefits deal, doesn't mean I'm not looking for a damn hot lover! I'm just looking for a lover who is willing to commit to me in the long term, because I deserve nothing less!

The whole dating world is fraught with peril for the fat woman over 30. The single, unattached man pool is somewhat smaller than when one was younger. It seems a lot of men are much pickier past 30 and tend to want to date women younger than them. Age doesn't really matter to me, it's about the person he is, not the statistics he is made up of. Or if they're not looking for a younger woman to settle down with, they're committed to the unattached life, and are not looking for a relationship. That's not to say ALL guys fit into these standards, but many of them do.

Plus we folk (both guys and girls) over 30 have a lot more to lose in the unfortunate event of someone who misrepresents themselves. Lived through that one not too long ago. We're financially stable, we have assets and investments and unfortunately there are some who would like to get their hands on that, and do prey on those suffering loneliness to do so. That has nothing to do with gender, it happens on both sides. Thankfully I'm in no way lonely enough to let that kind of behaviour slip through ever again, as I may have done in my naive youth!

But those things aside, I know that there are lots of awesome guys out there, and not all of them are already snapped up by other ladies, or gay. I know there is a nice bloke out there for me somewhere, not intimidated by a fat chick with a brain, just looking for an awesome woman like me! One that he can relax and be himself with, and not worry about all the games and bullshit that some women like to play. And one that isn't going to expect him to support her while she does nothing for him, or cling to him like a limpet without a life of her own.

If you know that bloke... send him my way!

Trolling: What's it All About

2009-05-17T19:26:00.003+10:00

As my regular readers may have noticed, this blog has been plagued by a troll (possibly two, if the latter person is a real person, but I have my doubts).

I wanted to tell you a bit about trolls and how to recognise them. For a really in-depth definition, the Wikipedia one on (Internet) Trolls is pretty good. Click here to read it.

What I want to bring up is that as annoying and confrontational internet trolls are, letting them stop or disrupt a discussion is exactly what they want. They crave attention, and are unable to get it in the regular healthy ways that you and I do, so they stir up trouble and are generally just irritating to all others involved.

I really believe that the best way to deal with trolls is a two part action. Firstly, do not change your behaviour in your blog, or other forum that the troll has turned up. Ignore them as best as possible, and keep to your normal activities on that site/application.

But secondly, when you do spot a troll, it's a good idea to call them out if nobody has before. Because once they realise that people can see through them, they tend to just go away.

I choose not to delete comments that trolls leave because it outs them to the internet community. But if it is particularly offensive or upsetting, it is ok to delete it, that's up to you. And don't worry if they crap on about how you're censoring them, it's your blog, if someone is behaving like a troll you have every right to delete that.

Unfortunately, as much as we pick up on trolls behaviour, they find new ways to be a pain in the arse. For every new application there is out there, they find a new way to troll. So it's something that genuine people do need to keep clear about, and share information when they do suffer troll behaviour.

If you are not sure if you are dealing with a troll, a few questions to ask are:

Do the posts this person makes stir up the community un-necessarily?
Does this person hold double standards? (ie, accusing others of name calling but being name callers themselves, spouting their opinion loudly but not liking it when they are challenged or debated with etc)
Does this person try to get other people "on their side"?
Have a look at their account profile and others connected to them. Do they look fake, lack detail or depth, or seem to come from the same source?
Take a look at spelling, punctuation and grammar. Trolls are more likely to have bad writing skills.
Trolls are rarely rational. They contradict themselves, throw insults, swear, ridicule people, and generally create a bad atmosphere. Someone who is sharing a valid point is rational and balanced about it. Trolls are not. Trolls often end their posts with things like "HA! I told you so!" like small children would.
And most of all, trolls disappear when the subject is positive, fun or happy. They like creating anger and misery.

I just found this rather interesting article from the eCommerce Journal, which gives a nice simple explanation of trolling behaviour and the type of trolls you will find.

Most of all, I guess the wisest advice is:

Blog Love

2009-05-17T12:06:00.003+10:00

Got a lovely Sunday morning surprise today! I found a comment on one of my blog posts alerting me that I had been given a blog award. Awwww!

My friend and fellow blogger Megan from over at Doing What the Cool Kids Do has left me this award:

I'm very touched!

Now as these blog awards go, it's my turn to award it to some of my favourite blogs. So, here goes:

Life of a Flibbertigibbet - I don't even remember how I stumbled across this blog, but Ms Flibbertigibbet seems to me like the kind of lady I could be great friends with, if we didn't live a gazillion miles apart.

Katagal Kapers - Kerri is a friend and colleague of mine, and she's such an amazing lady who sees the best in situations, even when they drive her to distraction.

Big Fat Deal - a collaborative blog of fat activists, challenging the common attitude that being fat makes you less than other people. Which they do with humour and attitude and a whole lot of intelligence.

Sleepy Jane - A lady from South Africa who's blog I never miss, and I enjoy her posts on Twitter too.

Enjoy your cupcake awards ladies, and keep putting out the quality blog posts!

iPhone, uPhone we all Phone

2009-05-14T19:36:00.006+10:00

After the heat of last night's blog post, I wanted to settle things down just a little bit tonight so that I can think about some stuff before I get back into the big meaty topics. I blog at night after a long day at work, so I do need a wee brain rest from time to time.

So tonight, I want to talk about my shiny new iPhone, which is only two weeks old. I am in love. I know, I know, it's just a gadget, but OMG it's revolutionising my entire life! Oh alright, maybe not that much but I am finding that it is streamlining a LOT of things for me.

It has an excellent diary/calendar function. I just pop in the details of stuff right then and there, when I hear about it, I can set reminders and I can see it all per week or per month, whatever suits. No more forgetting when I've booked to be somewhere and I can put in people's birthdays and such too.

I have access to the internet wherever I am (pretty much anyway) with the iPhone. Need an answer to a question? Google it or use Wikipedia. Need to know how much money in my bank account? Netbanking. Want directions? Google maps, and the iPhone has a built in GPS, so it can find ME. Need news? ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) have an app, as do a lot of other news agencies. Looking for a restaurant or cafe? Urbanspoon will help you find one using GPS and a tool to choose your type of food, location and cost. See something in a shop you might like to buy? Use Amazon (or many other apps) to get a price comparison. Hear a song somewhere that you want to buy, or can't work out the title/artist? Shazam listens to it and gives you the details, plus links to it on YouTube and iTunes. And these are just some of the useful applications you can have with your internet access.

I also love having a camera on me wherever I go, without having to lug a regular one around. Sure, the images are not super high quality and there is no flash, but you can get plenty of happy snaps and there are lots of applications you can add to give you cool effects and filters on your photos. You can post them online immediately, email them to friends, use them as avatars for the people in your address book.

And finally, I love having my music on the very same device. All sorted nicely, playlists and album details, videos and catalogued. Lovely!

Wanna hear something freaky? I was just laying on my bed faffing about with Google Earth on the iPhone, and it pinpointed not only my exact building, but which part of that building I was in!! It has GPS in it, and it showed an aerial shot of my building, with a dot over that part of the house. WOW! Love this!

So all in all, I'm rather in love with my nifty little gadget, and all the things it can do for me. Call me a nerd, but technology gives me happies!

Let Me Make This Clear

2009-05-13T18:42:00.007+10:00

I feel the need to have a good long talk with you all about a subject that is very difficult to talk about, but is REALLY important that people understand very clearly.

That subject is rape. I know, it's not a pleasant subject to have to blog about, but I think it is needed. I think not only do I need to speak up, but if you are reading this, and you agree with me, you need to blog/talk about it too, so that we can make this as clear as possible to as many people as possible.

Now let me begin, this is NOT about the current case around Matthew Johns, though that case has been the catalyst for much discussion, debate and even argument. And that discussion, debate and argument is the catalyst for me writing this blog post tonight. Also, you need to know that despite my very vehement statements on this matter, I am not angry or irate. I am simply making it very, very clear as to where the line in the sand is on this matter, and it's not something that I believe falls into "grey".

Let me make something crystal clear for everyone.

Sex, without consent, is RAPE.

It doesn't matter who the victim is, be they male, female, straight, gay, young, old, virgin, promiscuous, married, single and no matter what their relationship to the perpetrator is. Yes, a husband can rape a wife. A client can rape a prostitute. A person who has had consensual sex with someone in the past can be raped by that person.

It's a very simple concept to grasp. I'll say it again. Sex, without consent, is RAPE.

The discussion that I've seen (and been part of) on Twitter is around the fact that it seems that some people, and sadly some of those are women, seem to discount an accusation of rape if the victim is promiscuous. Or to paraphrase one woman, who calls herself a "community activist", "In my day she'd just be called a skanky slut." So by this woman (and several of her supporters), the fact that the alleged victim is promiscuous negates her claim of sexual assault.

Again, this is not about the individual allegation of that case, it's about the attitude that a woman who is promiscuous or who has consented to having sex with others, must not really be a victim of rape.

I was absolutely stunned to hear a supposedly educated woman have this attitude. What year are we living in? Do people still believe the "she asked for it" line? Are there people out there that still believe that women are merely the objects of sexual gratification for men, mere vessels for semen? I thought we cleared that up in the bloody 80's for God's sake.

As I posted to Twitter earlier this evening, let me make this clear. If a woman is in a room with ten men, and she consents to sex with nine of those men, but refuses the tenth, and is forced to have sex with him anyway, that is RAPE.

It's time for people to get over that archaic attitude that there are any grey areas around rape. This is why so many women (and men) do not report rape. Or why so many back out during the investigations, because they are put under such scrutiny. It's why so many women in particular do not realise that the sexual abuse they have suffered is actually rape. They blame themselves, or make excuses. They say "I didn't put up enough of a fight." or "I slept with him before, so it doesn't matter if I didn't want to this time."

So long as these attitudes are perpetuated, perpetrators will be getting away with rape. They will make excuses why it is ok. They will say "What happens on the footy trip, stays on the footy trip." They will say "Oh she's just a skanky slut, I can do whatever I like to her."

I want you to think about this. What if it were you? What if someone didn't believe you if you said you were raped, because they said you were a slut? What if it were your daughter, your sister, your wife, girlfriend, mother, aunt, your friend? NOBODY deserves rape. Ever, even if they're a collossal bitch who sleeps with whole football teams. Nobody deserves to be violated, to be forced sexually. NOBODY.

Say it again people. Please.

Sex, without consent, is RAPE.

Update: A Twitter friend shared this excellent article with me. The Epidemic of Not Rape.

Men: How to be Sexy

2009-05-11T19:54:00.005+10:00

Ok yeah, I know, I'm on a bit of a Craig Ferguson kick at the moment. I do that, you'll get used to it. But because I've been watching a lot of his stuff online lately, I get to find gems like the video below. It's totally worth watching for the whole 8+ minutes, I'm quite sure you won't regret it:

Now, aside from the absolutely fantastic message Mr Ferguson is sending here with this monologue, I want to talk about sexiness and attractiveness. Watching this video above, this man is one of the sexiest I have seen in a long time. I swear, he really does it for me.

Now, recently, a male friend said somewhat disdainfully to me "Women bitch about men always being superficial, but they're only after Brad Pitt and George Clooney."

BULLSHIT.

Some women are, yes. But those women aren't after a man they can the spend the rest of their life with. They want the pretty man right now. They're not going to hang around as he ages and his looks fade.

Here's what I want. I want a man who makes me laugh so hard I pee. I want a man who laughs at himself, at the absurdity of life, but never at the expense of vulnerable people. I want a man who has a brain and isn't afraid to use it and show it, but doesn't sneer at other people as somehow being less than him because he's intelligent. I want a man who has the balls to speak up when he sees something is not right. I want a man who thinks of others, and how his actions might affect them. I want a man who cares. Not in a "snag" kind of way, all "I feel your pain honey", but one that gives a shit about people around him and in the world. I want a man who takes responsibility for himself, his life and the lives of his dependants. I want a man who isn't intimidated by a woman who has an opinion, isn't intimidated by a woman who is proud of her achievements and who is responsible for herself and her actions. I want a man who is into a woman for who she is, not for fleeting looks and perky tits. In short, a man who is good.

Here's what I find sexy...

Jamie Hyneman is sexy. He's uber-intelligent, has a great sense of humour, and has no tolerance for fools.

Chris Garver is sexy. He's talented, humble, smart and known for teaching others his craft.

William McInnes is sexy. He's down-to-earth, intelligent, has a great sense of humour and is a devoted family man.

And these are just a few who I find sexy. None of them are pin-up-boy pretty, but they're all men who are comfortable in their masculinity, but don't need to posture and pose to prove it. They're men who are who they are, and that is sexy.

In fact I can think of only one famous man that I find sexy that IS pin-up boy pretty. Behold!

Yes, good old Hugh Jackman. The bastard, he ruins it for all mere mortal men. But what makes him sexy isn't just the outside package (though that is rather nice), it's that he's such a bloody nice bloke. Loving husband and father, talented in many forms, nice bloke, smart, sense of humour, thoughtful, and willing to have a go at anything. I do have a theory that he is either a mutant or a serial killer, because really, one man can't be that perfect.

But anyway, back to my point. Sexy isn't about a pretty outside wrapper. Sexy is about the man within. I've dated pretty men, and they turned out to be not very sexy at all, in that they were arseholes. No bigger turn off than a jerk, that's for sure. Besides, pretty fades eventually and if that's all you've got...

Fellas, you want to be attractive to the ladies? Then be a man from the inside out. Nothing turns this woman (and I dare say many more women - holla back ladies in the comments if you're with me) on more than a man who is man enough to be respectful, intelligent, gentle, honest, thoughtful, fun and most of all a GOOD person.

I'm Back

2009-05-09T20:29:00.004+10:00

Yes, yes, I know, it's been awhile since I blogged. This is because I've been sick, so quit your whining. I had some kind of evil flu type thing (I blame Floss at work, he was sick before I was), which then exploded into a rather nasty ear infection, and my doc packed me off home for the rest of the week. I had a few rough days there, high fevers, aches and pains, general misery which has left me feeling like any thing but being creative enough to blog.

I am feeling considerably better now, though I do still have a cough that has me sounding like some kind of crusty old smoker, but at least I don't feel sick and miserable any more.

Anyway, what's been happening over the past week or so?

I got my iPhone a week ago. And boy oh boy is it a fabulous wee piece of technology. Especially as I have had cable internet with wi-fi installed in my flat, and now I can be online from anywhere in the place. While I have been sick I have been able to lie in bed and still be connected to the outside world, mostly through Twitter and Facebook, while comfortable and resting. And I also have internet access on a roaming basis, anywhere that can pick up a 3G mobile signal.

The other thing I really enjoy is the fact that it is all devices in one. Phone, internet, camera, diary, iPod, you name it. I now only need carry it, my purse and my keys and I'm pretty much good to go. Nice!

Something else I've enjoyed while I've been taking it easy are videos of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on YouTube. I didn't know that Craig had a late night talk show in the US, I loved him in The Drew Carey Show years ago, and had often wondered what happened to him. Adam Savage posted the link to this little piece of goofiness about a week ago, and I've been rediscovering all of his stuff since.

However, tonight I found this piece from a couple of years ago that really moved me. It was the Monday after Britney Spears had her whole breakdown thing with the head shaving incident, and Craig opened his how with this incredibly moving monologue. It makes me remember that as well as a very funny man, and a bit of a hottie, he's an intelligent, honest, thought provoking man.

Enjoy:

Free Comic Books + Hugh Jackman!!!!!

2009-04-29T21:00:00.003+10:00

Oh ladies and gentlemen, it doesn't get any better than this. Free comic books AND Hugh Jackman! I was only going to do one blog post tonight, but I saw this over on Brisbane Blog and had to share!

Enjoy...

Hoooooooo BABY!!!

I actually saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine last night. I won free tickets to the MySpace "Black Curtain" premiere at the Regent Cinema in the city. I took my friend Kylie (*waves to Kylie*) and I tell you, I found X-Men Origins: Wolverine a million shades of awesome! Not only was Hugh Jackman so hot I think I ovulated at least half a dozen times, he's uber-cool as Wolverine, it's chock full of action, special effects, stunts, awesome characters, and a fast paced story. Plus a few laughs peppered in. Liev Schrieber is super creepy as Sabretooth, and Will.I.Am quite steals the show in a few scenes as John Wraith. Go and see it and don't listen to the snobs who whine that it sucked, cos it didn't.

Anyhoo, as well as the opportunity to get Free Comic Books this Saturday May 2nd, it's a really good cause in getting folks to read (especially younger males). I'm quite sure if you do a Google search on Free Comic Book Day + your city, you'll find somewhere that is participating. For those of you in Brisbane, do go and check out the post at Brisbane Blog for details.

Now go back and watch that promo and trailer again. Hubba hubba!

Sometimes I...

2009-04-29T19:47:00.003+10:00

Over on a blog I read faithfully, Sleepy Jane, she has had this fabulous "Sometimes I" post, and I thought it was such a good idea that I would have a go at it myself.

So, sometimes I...

... just want to lay on the sofa and watch every single Mythbusters episode that I own, and enjoy the destruction.

... think I would like to permanently move to the US, but then I realise how bad health care is over there, and realise I'm better off here.

... get really sick of people calling me up at work and telling me that "the system" has screwed something up, when I can see very clearly that a human did it.

... like to read the letters to the editor in MX, the free paper you get in the afternoon. They're so stupid and petty, they make me feel like Einstein.

... wonder why people are intimidated by other people. Everybody poops you know.

... wish that I could afford a chauffeur and town car.

... have absolutely no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life.

... would love to just stay home and faff about on the internet for a living!

Now your turn. Sometimes I...

The Boat that Rocked

2009-04-23T21:46:00.003+10:00

Just got home from the movies with my friends Elizabeth and Leanne. We went to see The Boat that Rocked at South Bank cinemas (cheaper over there, $8.50 instead of like $14 or something).

What a fun movie! A great rocking soundtrack of 60's music, lot's of fun characters with some great laughs, and a really solid cast (Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Emma Thompson, Kenneth Branagh, Jack Davenport, Rhys Ifans, Nick Frost, the very pretty Tom Sturridge and many more.)

For me the movie was completely stolen by "Thick Kevin" played by Tom Brooke. He got the best laughs out of the whole movie.

If you love 60's music, British humour and a good laugh, check this one out.

A Letter To Myself

2009-04-22T21:41:00.004+10:00

How long is it since you were sixteen? It's an awful long time since I was sixteen, and if you've been reading earlier posts, you'll know that my 20 year high school reunion was just a couple of weeks ago (for those of you who haven't read earlier posts, I didn't go).

I had a conversation with a friend recently about if you knew then, what you know now. Which kind of got me thinking, what would I say to myself if I could sit down today and write a letter for 16 year old me, that 16 year old me would actually receive. So I thought I would give it a go here.

Dear me,

I know right now you just can't imagine being 36 years old. I know you've thought about the Year 2000 and how you'll be 27 when the new year hits and and that's totally unfathomable to you. But it does happen, and it will sail right by you really quickly, and before you know it, 2010 is racing up towards you at a phenomenal rate.

But that will be ok. Because unlike the years gone by, you feel more comfortable about time passing than you have when you were younger, and you'll not feel like you have all these deadlines and rules you have to stick by in your life.

I know right now in your life, you are all you have that you feel you can depend on. Things are changing all around you, you're finding a little bit of the strength you are capable of, and you're making decisions for YOU for the first time in your life. You're well versed in making adult decisions, you've been making them since you can remember, but this is about the first time you're making those decisions with yourself in mind. Even though you don't quite recognise it yet, and you're still trying to please everyone else, you're starting to get your first inkling that you do need to look after you before everyone else. That's good, because the sooner you learn that, the easier it gets honey!

You're scared, and you feel like things never change. They will. Boy oh boy will they change for you very soon. You're going to meet your first true love very soon, and you will still love him with your whole heart over 20 years later, even though you know he's not the man for you. And I promise you, he'll never break your heart. He'll teach you that men can be gentle and loving and giving, that they don't have to be about violence and humiliation. Watch out for him, you'll know he's a kindred spirit the moment you meet him.

Don't worry so much about what other people think about you. Worry about what you think about you. That's not an easy lesson to learn, but it is the truth. Especially don't worry what strangers or people you don't like think about you. They matter NOTHING. And if someone thinks bad things about you, then they're not worth caring about. The ones who matter love you to bits, and they'll prove it in a million ways.

Oh and your family? You're the one that's getting it right sweetie, it's ok. You will find a happiness that their selfishness and bitterness will never, ever afford them. You will be free.

Your body is not who you are. It's hard being different to everyone else, I know, but it doesn't define you. Who you are is in your heart and soul and mind. Again, those people who don't love you for who you really are, well, they're not worth caring about either.

Believe it or not, you can learn anything you put your mind to. A fucking brilliant TV show called Mythbusters is going to teach you that. Yep, a TV show. It will end up being one of the few things you bother to watch. Because every time it's on, it awakes a new curiosity in you for something else you can learn about. It will send you off to the library or the internet (don't worry, you'll learn what the internet is in about a decade, and you'll never look back) to learn more about a gazillion other subjects. Through that learning you'll discover a confidence in yourself that you would never have believed possible. Here they are, keep an eye out for them:

And guess what? The stutter goes away. Not totally, but enough that most people will never know you suffered from it, unless you choose to tell them. So much, that you'll even be public speaking one day.

But what I really want you to know is, you're awesome. Not in a wanky conceited way, but just you, as you really are, with all your flaws, mistakes, fuck-ups, goofiness and traits that some people put you down for, are actually awesome. You don't have to be perfect to be awesome. You are a smart, beautiful, funny and HUGELY open hearted woman. And the day you realise that will be the most liberating moment of your life.

I love you.

Kath

Thankful Sunday

2009-04-19T20:40:00.003+10:00

Yet another week has rolled around, and we're at Sunday night again, with Monday morning looming ahead. What better time to be thankful about something and focus on the positives!

Well, I'm thankful that my friend (and honorary Mum) Trish has only two more chemo sessions to go, and that she's doing so well. At her half way mark she had CT scans and they couldn't find any cancer in her system at all, so all she has to do is see through the rest of her chemo. In three weeks, all going well, she will be all done with it and can start to get back to her real life.

I'm also thankful that I am mostly a very healthy person, I have my bits and bobs that I deal with but none of them are life threatening or lower the quality of my life in any vast way. I'm thankful that I've never had any really serious illness or injury, and that I can pretty much do whatever I like in life, nothing of my health hampers my life.

So here's to being thankful about the health and wellness of myself and my loved ones!

What are you thankful for?

Black Sheep are Still Sheep

2009-04-18T20:15:00.004+10:00

Most of you know that I am an avid Twitter user, or "tweeter" in the lingo of Twitter. I've been on it for a year or something, I don't remember because I joined up and then kind of ignored it for a bit, then when a friend got into it, I started to use it more and was hooked. I love how it opens up new worlds to me, brings me new and interesting things to explore and I meet lots of cool new people. Both on Twitter and in real life, since I've been going along to the BTUB (Brisbane Twitter User Brigade) get togethers.

Even if you're not a Twitter user, you probably have heard about the whole business with Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) setting a challenge to beat CNN to 1 million followers. At first it started out as a fun thing he did, saying he was going to ding dong ditch Ted Turner if he got to a million followers before CNN, but it took off so huge (mostly because people love the idea of Ted Turner being ding dong ditched) Ashton realised the power of what he was doing, and decided to take it somewhere productive. Not only did he put a philanthropic purpose behind it (offered to buy 10,000 mosquito nets for a charity) but also he realised the change in communication that the internet and sites like Twitter can have, because one person (ie Ashton himself) can have as much of a voice as a whole media network, CNN.

It went very huge very quickly, and then Oprah asked to interview Ashton, and she joined Twitter, and of course now it's just exploding all over the place.

This draws me to the purpose of this particular blog post. With the whole Ashton/CNN/Oprah thing, there has been a lot of talk on Twitter over the past 48 hours about how Twitter now sucks and people are leaving because Oprah is on it, and some loser posted a blog about how yesterday was "the day that Twitter died" and so on.

I couldn't believe it, and to be honest, I still can't. I can't get over how some people are so pretentious they would actually stop using a site/service because it has gone "mainstream". I can't get over how people actually think that Twitter is going to hell in a handbasket just because the popular media is interested in it, and a lot more people are joining it.

Admittedly, because of the massive influx of new users, there have been some technical hitches with Twitter, mostly time lags in the posts or "tweets" showing up, and a few times it has been over capacity and stuff, but mostly it's holding up alright.

I do think that the extra activity on Twitter is only going to work in all users favour technologically speaking, because it gives the folks behind Twitter the clout (and finances) to upgrade their service. The more that use it, the more successful the service is and the better they can offer.

It amazes me that there are people who leave a service claiming it has been "overrun with sheep", yet their behaviour is just as sheep like as anyone else's. They're the ones who will only be involved if something isn't mainstream. They're the ones making an exodus when something changes.

I guess these are the same people who announce that they only listen to "alternative" music. Alternative to what? Oh I get you, you only listen to music that isn't popular. Music that is "cool". Right. And who decides that it meets the "alternative" criteria?

Look, there is no-one holding a gun to anyone's head forcing them to follow Oprah or Ashton or anyone else. If you're not into the whole pop culture thing, if mainstream bothers you, then don't follow those people. That's the beauty of Twitter and the internet in general. You choose what interests you, and you spend your time using those things, reading those blogs, following those tweeters, etc. If you want to be all edgy and alternative, then hang out with other people you consider edgy and alternative.

Don't hang shit on people who have different taste to you, because that's all it is, their taste. Nobody should ever apologise for their taste in music, movies, television, books, internet stuff, whatever. What you like, and what interests you is yours and nobody can tell you it's less worthy than anyone else's. Besides, with the internet, you will ALWAYS find someone else who is interested in the same stuff as you, regardless of how obscure your taste is.

Follow me on Twitter.

Awesome Slow Cooker Chook Recipe

2009-04-17T20:31:00.002+10:00

I was recently asked for my recipe for roasting a chicken in the slow cooker. This one is MEGA easy, and I can tell you, amazingly delicious.

Ok, what you do is, get some tinfoil, and scrunch it up into balls about the size of an egg. You need about six of these for an average sized chicken. Put them in the bottom of the slow cooker, and arrange them so that they'll support the chook and keep it from touching the bottom/sides.

Then get your chook, either stuffed or empty, and rub butter all over it's skin. You can even put a couple of dobs of butter under the breast skin if you like. This makes the skin crispy, because you won't get the browning effect that an oven gives. Doesn't matter if you're making gravy, that's for sure.

Sit the chicken on the tinfoil balls in the slow cooker. Make sure it's not touching the bottom or sides of the slow cooker.

Grab a lemon, cut it in half, squeeze the juice over the chicken. Works just as nice with lime, orange or grapefruit too.

Then get a herbs or two you like. I particularly like rosemary with lemon, coriander and parsley with lime, basil with orange, but it's whatever you like. If they're fresh, chop 'em up. If dried, no need. Sprinkle a handful over your chook, the herbs will stick to the juice and butter.

If you want, you can drop a clove of garlic or two in the bottom under the chicken somewhere. The steam from the juice cooks it and it flavours your chicken.

Put the lid on the slow cooker, turn it on auto, then go to work. When you come home that night, there is an awesome roast chicken for dinner!!

How easy is that hey? I have heard that you can use potatoes instead of the foil balls, and they cook nice (I think you need to prick them if you leave the skin on) to go with the chook. But I haven't tried it yet. I think I will next weekend!

My Few Minutes of Fame

2009-04-16T21:45:00.004+10:00

I'm quite chuffed that I've been blogged up over on Spy Journal 3.0 as a featured Geek Girl Blogger.

On the weekend, Tim put the call out on Twitter asking if anyone new any geek girls that could be featured on his blog, and I asked if I was geeky enough for what they were looking for. A few emails later, a bit of a survey for me to fill out, and today I'm up there in front of everyone! *blush*

If you'd like to have a look, go to:

http://www.spyjournal.biz/geek_girls/KathRead

Totally Gratuitous Mythbusters Video

2009-04-14T23:13:00.002+10:00

Just cos I love 'em!

Thankful Sunday... A Day Late

2009-04-13T21:45:00.004+10:00

Oops! I forgot to do my Thankful Sunday post yesterday! And it was Easter and all!

Oh well, better late than never. So this week, I am thankful for:

A blissful four day weekend, cool and rainy, that I could just relax and enjoy. It was just a nice mix of mooching at home and social activity. It's rained all weekend (my favourite kind of weather) and I've enjoyed watching movies and reading when I'm not socialising.

I'm also thankful that the lovely Adriana called me up last week and invited me to the football on Saturday night. I got to see the Brisbane Lions soundly thrash the Sydney Swans for the first time in about 5 years. Always a great thing, to whale on Sydney. I enjoyed the evening with Adriana and her lovely nephew.

And to end this thankful post, I'm thankful for you my readers! Every time I log in and spot a comment from someone, it reminds me why I write this blog. Don't be shy if you read, just say hello so I know you're there.

An Easter Question

2009-04-10T20:19:00.003+10:00

Question: Do athiests ever make disparaging, disrespectful remarks about Judaism/Buddhism/Islam/Hinduism etc? Or do they just reserve it for Christianity?

Because I tell ya, I'm over the bullshit floating around today from the athiest set, making comments like "Happy nail your God to a stick day" and things like that.

All I have to say is "Shut the fuck up and enjoy the PAID public holiday that you're more than happy to take, despite it not being about your personal beliefs. And keep your disrespectful comments to yourself."

Thank you, that is all.

Shaping Young Minds

2009-04-09T22:23:00.005+10:00

As my last post mentioned, I have my 20 year school reunion on this weekend that I have decided that I am not going to. But I have been thinking about my school days, and the friends I had back then, and the things that happened during those 13 odd years of schooling.

I read this post over on Three Ring Circus about a teacher behaving like an arse to a young girl, and I got to thinking more about mine. I remember so many of them so well.

The one I feel was the most influential in my life was Miss Stubbs. She was the teacher-librarian in my Primary school until I was about 10 or 11. She was wonderful, and gave me so much encouragement to read. She would save me books that had just come into the library, because she knew I'd read pretty much everything. I ran into her a few years ago at a Michael Palin event and she rememebered me. In fact remembered me as "a cute little thing in her pjamas with her nose in a book."

I had a really crappy teacher in Year 4 named Mrs Bourke, who terrified all of the kids, and tried to convert us all into Catholicism. I remember her telling the class in front of a girl who had just had her baby brother drown in a swimming pool that "God takes children away because of the sin in the world." She was completely nuts.

Then there was Mr Browne. He was awesome. Young and funny and cool. I had him for Year 6 and he had a paddle called "The Dog" that he never really hit anyone with, but we were all scared of it. I got it on the hand once for talking. A high five hurts more. I only ever got in trouble for talking.

In High School there weren't as many cool ones, but there were some nutbars. Miss Shand, who wore low cut tops that her huge boobs fell out of and made all the Year 8 boys ears go red. Mr Lloyd (who we called Lloydie the Loonie) who was REALLY old and I am quite sure he was going senile. A guy who we called Johnny Rambo (but I've forgotten his name!) who would sleep with the Year 12 girls. A strange little French teacher that had a nervous breakdown in class. Mr Angell who stank of BO and thought it was funny to fart on students during exams.

But there were also wonderful teachers. Miss Burton, an art teacher who was a "swampie" (predecessor of goths) like some of us, and encouraged us all to find something creative that we could master. Mr Eyles, a patient older man who I had for Maths, which I have always struggled with. I remember him sitting with me to work through things that the rest of the class got, but I struggled with. I also remember his sadness when he talked about his wife being ill. Mr Large, a funny British guy that I had for English a few years, who really got me loving the classics. Miss Beattie, who was my typing teacher for several years, and sent me postcards from her holiday travels around the world.

But my favourite of all of them was Mr Bendell. My science teacher for all but 1 year of High School, he was brilliant. Intelligent, witty, respectful, passionate, dignified, cheeky... he really was wonderful. He called the girls "Marm" and the boys "Squire". He would tell obscure science-fiction/geek jokes that only me and one boy ever got. I remember him teaching us never to be afraid of saying "I don't know." when asked a question. I also remember playing practical jokes on him and him retaliating in spectacular science teacher fashion. One in particular I remember was him setting off rotten egg gas and then closing us all up in the classroom after we'd done something particularly cheeky to him. He taught me that science was fun and fascinating, and to always be curious about "why and how".

I also remember him asking me to "Try" when we were doing dissection, because I had a particularly weak stomach. I would try SOOOOO hard for him, to be able to stay and watch, but more often than not he would turn to me and quietly say "You are green Marm, pop outside in the fresh air for a bit." And I also remember him teaching us "The Raspberry Song" at Year 8 camp (it was about farts, he played guitar and taught us songs about farts, what a legend.)

I often wonder where he is these days. I don't really know how old he would be, I would have guessed he was in his 30's when I was in school, so he'd at least be in his 50's now. I am quite sure he inspired many, many young people over the years, and it would be nice to think that he is either still doing just that, or perhaps retired to play his guitar and read science fiction at his leisure.

Did you have any really amazing teachers when you were a kid that changed your life? Did you have any really awful ones? Leave me a comment and tell me about them!

High School Daze...

2009-04-06T21:34:00.005+10:00

My 20 year high school reunion is on over Easter. I'm not going. Not because I'm ashamed or embarrassed, or because I feel uncomfortable, but simply because I'm not interested in any of the people who ARE going.

It's funny, but the very people who would never have spoken to me in high school are all clamouring to be my friend on Facebook or get in touch with me these days. The very same girls that would never have sat anywhere near me in class, now send me emails and Facebook messages saying "Oh it's so awesome to see you, you've been up to so much since we left school!"

This is because the absolute pinnacle of their lives was high school. They were at their most popular, beautiful, confident and interesting during those high school years. Once they left school, it was all downhill from there. Most of them were married young, had kids young, many divorced young... and that's about all they've done with their lives. They were so wrapped up in being beautiful and popular and following what they thought was how you lived life, that they forgot to LIVE.

The thought of spending several hours in the company of these people is so boring that I just can't be bothered going. Nor can I be bothered contacting them back or friending them on Facebook. I feel no anger or bitterness towards any of them, really just disinterest and in some cases, pity.

There are a few people I would like to see that will be at the reunion, but I'd rather catch up with them some other way later on. Without the distraction of people who I have no interest in trying to get some attention.

Would you go to your high school reunion? If yes, what attracts you to it? If no, why not?

I actually don't have any photographs of me as a teenager (until I was about 18 or 19), but here's one of me just before I started high school (holding primary school graduation certificates):

I wish I still had legs like that!

Thankful Sunday

2009-04-05T20:03:00.001+10:00

Sunday is here again, it seems every week just gets faster and faster as it sails by.

I am feeling considerably better than I have for the past few weeks, the black dog is shrinking down from the hulking great sheepdog it was before to a rather annoying terrier at the moment. I just need to get it to like a teacup Yorkie or something cute and manageable.

Which brings me to Thankful Sunday, the post where I talk about what I am thankful for over the past week.

This week, I am firstly thankful that the High Court has ruled that the $900 stimulus payments will be paid to Australian tax payers, after the government's plan was legally challenged by publicity hungry academic Bryan Pape (who needs to get a life and stop wasting everyone's time and money). As I am one of the tax payers who hands over almost a quarter of my earnings annually, I'm thrilled that I'm finally going to get some reward for being a contributing member of society. I'm planning to get myself my iPhone, pick up my Wii off layby, and the rest I might put towards a tattoo. Or something fun anyway. Unlike a lot of people I haven't got myself into unmanageable debt, so I can relax and use mine to stimulate the economy like we're supposed to.

I am also thankful that my Cyster-friend Tes organised a Brissie Cysters get together yesterday. (Cysters are women with PolyCystic Ovary Syndrome for those who don't know.) I made a decision at the end of last year not to organise any more of the get togethers as quite often people were not showing up or cancelling at the last moment, and it was getting to be too big a chore. But I really missed getting together with my cysters, so it was lovely that Tes organised a get together. We went for brunch at the Pancake Manor on Charlotte Street.

All in all it's been a fairly good week, here's hoping the coming one is even better.

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

2009-04-02T21:14:00.004+10:00

... I wish I was snoring....

How much rain is Brisbane having right now? For those of you not here in Brissie, it has been downright torrential all day, with a hard wind to go with it. I mean BUCKETING down.

I woke up this morning and thought it was kind of weird because it was still dark. I opened my curtains (I have those good rubber backed curtains that keep out lots of light) and was amazed at how intense it was outside. It felt apocalyptic. I'm sure I sat at the bus stop waiting for four horsemen to ride by.

However, despite the rain being somewhat intense, I love it. I love that the temps are dropping, I love the cozy, close feel of the world when it is really raining hard, I love the soft light of a rainy day, and most of all I love that sound. It's just the most delicious sound in the world.

The only bummer is that of course, it's raining on a week day, when I have to go to work. I just want to stay at home, curl up in bed with a book and a mug of hot chocolate, read and doze and daydream all soggy day long.

Instead I have to schlepp into work, sit at my desk with the hems of my pants all wet, listening to all that delicious wind and rain outside being wasted on a work day.

But one thing that has amused me all day are all the abandoned, broken umbrellas all over the city. Every rubbish bin has one, and a lot of them have blown all over the place. I saw a lot of people carrying broken ones too. This is because people buy cheap ones because they forgot to bring one, and inevitably they fall to bits on the first wind. Then they blow all over the city like this poor lost lonely guy:

This photo was in the Brisbane Times this evening. I like it, poor, lost, lonely, broken umbrella.

I've just discovered another lovely thing about wet weather... tonight the frogs are singing!

Getting Ink

2009-04-01T21:06:00.002+10:00

Chris Garver at the Hard Rock
Originally uploaded by Erik Voake

As you can see by my new layout, I am a bit of a tattoo fan. I decided to go with this layout because it was a bit more "me" than the pink spotty one (that was cute though).

I only have three tattoos, one of which is old and dead, and none of them are very big. Mostly because I haven't been able to afford any really big work. But I have decided that I really want to start seriously collecting tattoos.

The ultimate for me? Getting a tattoo done by this guy, Chris Garver. I absolutely love his work, it often leaves me speechless. He seems to be able to put movement and flow into his work, it never looks like a flat picture. As far as I am concerned, Garver is the best in the business.

It helps that he's a hottie too.

I'm saving him a spot, because one day I want this guy to tattoo me. I'm going to give him a surface, and say "Knock yourself out bro" and let him tattoo whatever he would like there.

Until then, I'm planning a few new pieces. I want a pinup of a librarian. Underneath it I want it to say "Reading is sexy." I've also decided to get a rainbow lorikeet. I like them, they're noisy and chatty and make that laughing sound, and are colourful and loud. Kind of like me. I'd also like a baby sea-dragon too. The word "Serendipity" somewhere. A tiny number 42.

Can you tell I've decided to really go the whole shebang with tattoos?

Do you have any tatts? If yes, what have you got and why did you get it? Do you have any planned?

New Design

2009-03-30T21:30:00.002+10:00

As you can all see, I'm tinkering around with a new design for my blog.

It still needs some tweaking to get the text to fit in the boarders, but it's getting close! I just haven't quite worked out how to get it to work just yet.

If anyone has some tips or tricks, please let me know!

Thankful Sunday

2009-03-29T18:07:00.001+10:00

Another week has rolled around yet again, and we're back to Sunday night.

As you may have seen by my earlier posts, I had a rough week this week. It's been really hard to kick the black dog into submission after having some shitty things happen, but I feel I'm starting to turn a corner.

So, what am I thankful for?

I had a great time at the BTUB (Brisbane Twitter group) meet up at New Farm park yesterday. The lovely @shique organised to have cupcakes for us all to snack on, and boy were they gorgeous! Just take a look.

Pretty special hey? There were also some amazing red velvet ones, and anyone who knows me, knows I love red velvet cake!

Of course, I had to go for the cutesy pink one with the cherry on top that you can see there. But of course, as well as the cupcakes being delicious, it was great company. I enjoyed seeing a few of the folks I'd already met, and meeting a bunch of new ones. I took my girl @lilabris with me so she could meet some of the BTUB community too.

I am also thankful for the people in my life who support me and stick by me when the black dog hits. This week, particularly my friend Miss E (she knows who she is!) who encouraged me to go out for dinner on Friday night to lift my mood, and listened when I had a good vent. But also the friends who commented on my last blog, or left me messages on Facebook and stuff. It really does help! And I know it's not easy to have a friend who suffers depression.

I think I need to leave you all with a little more cupcake porn hey?

Wisdom Blowing My Way

2009-03-26T19:49:00.004+10:00

I was stuck for a topic to blog about tonight. Mostly because the black dog (depression) has got me kind of low, and to add to that I've had a few shitty things happen over the past few days, which hasn't been a nice return to work.

While I was sitting here looking at a blank screen, trying to think of something positive to write about (because I don't really believe in depressive blogging), feeling a bit yuck and uninspired, and asking God why I keep getting kicked while I am down, my Twitter went off (through TweetDeck) and there was a tweet from one of my favourite quote sources, @iheartquotes:

"An evil man is snared by his own sin, but a righteous one can sing and be glad." Proverbs 29:6

Oh what a beautiful quote to come to me at such a moment. Now I don't interpret this as "Those dirty sinners are going to hell and I'm all perfect so I can be glad." which is what comes to mind in the most basic of interpretations. To me this proverb means that the people who chose to behave abominably will receive exactly what they deserve, while so long as I behave with integrity and respect, I'll be ok. It relates to another favourite quote I have, which is:

"So long as you act with integrity, no-one can stop you from reaching your goals."

I don't even know the source for that one, I just saw it somewhere and loved it so much I made up a sign for my desk.

It's just perfect that I was to hear that proverb tonight, after discovering that someone has taken credit for months and months of hard work that I have done. I know that if I try to bring it up with anyone, I'll just get told that I'm imagining things, or that I'm being overly emotional, or being dramatic. It's just not worth fighting any more. So instead, this lovely proverb has popped up in the quotes to remind me that so long as I am the one behaving with integrity, I can hold my head up and have faith that those who behave otherwise will dig their own big holes for themselves to fall in.

I'm very thankful that I got this little piece of wisdom fall in my lap just now.

Ada Lovelace Day

2009-03-24T18:16:00.004+10:00

Today, for those of you who don't know already, is Ada Lovelace Day. Who was Ada Lovelace you ask? Well, she is credited with being the first female programmer. And in honour of her birth, I have taken a pledge to blog about women in technology today.

As a woman in technology myself, I know it's not an easy career path to travel. Long a male dominated profession, we ladies who have chosen to work in technology face a lot of challenges in our every day working lives. From the challenges of actually obtaining employment in technological careers, through to having to endure being dismissed as "lightweights" by our male colleagues, or spoken to as though we wouldn't understand.

Quite often we're told we're not "technological enough" because we choose the so called softer side of technology to work in. Those of us who choose to work in roles that deal with people and communication are dismissed as not really working in technology. Yet with technology permeating so much of our lives now, women (and the men who also choose) are needed to work in communications and the people side of things. We're the ones that get people adopting and accepting technology. We're the ones who understand why when people don't pick up technology.

I love working in and with technology. It fascinates me, challenges me and is always changing, growing and surprising me. Sometimes I do get frustrated with the environment others create, but I am never bored. And most of the time, it's FUN!

Are you a woman in technology? Do you work with/know women in technology? Tell me your story about women and technology.

Thankful Sunday

2009-03-22T19:43:00.003+10:00

Sunday night rolls around again. I am back at work tomorrow after three weeks annual leave, and I'm quite sure it's going to be a bit of a shock to the system! I am going to attempt to have an early night tonight.

Being Sunday night, it's time for my weekly reflection on the things I am thankful for.

Well, to start with, I am very thankful that I've been able to have three weeks off work, just relaxing and taking some time out to get my head together, get some priorities right in my life. I feel so much better for it. I feel like I've taken a very deep breath of good, fresh air.

I'm thankful for the lovely weekend I have just had with 5 other ladies, in the beautiful Eumundi Guesthouse. I had a wonderful weekend of "girl time" which is something I don't get to do very often. I laughed, had great conversation, admired shoes and clothes, relaxed, shopped and generally just enjoyed the company of these five lovely ladies. A special thank you to Nicole who invited me.

And finally for this week, I am thankful that there are so many people who missed me online while I was away over the weekend! Thanks for all your comments, posts and emails my lovely friends!

Big Hearts and Pretty Things

2009-03-17T17:26:00.005+10:00

Finally I am all ready to make this blog post! It's been a weird few weeks and I've needed to take a little time out to just let myself relax, and to get my brain out of the fried and overworked zone it was in. Now I've got time to organise something for other people.

Back in February, when the fires in Victoria were at their height, the lovely Nikki at Oh My Giddy Aunt, a fabulous keepsake jewellery store online, where I have bought some lovely jewellery myself, posted in her newsletter that she was having a birthday celebration for her store, and she asked if anyone had a school or an organisation that she could donate a gift to, for raffle to raise funds.

I didn't have a school or organisation that I could think of, but at the time I was waiting to hear from my friend Vonnie who lives down in the fire affected part of Victoria, worrying that she and her family were ok, so I emailed Nikki and suggested that perhaps I could raise money for the bushfire relief.

I got an email back from her the very next day, offering me this beautiful bangle to raffle:

Isn't it gorgeous? And it's valued at a WHOPPING $160! What a lovely thing to do on Nikki's behalf! I am totally amazed at her generosity for donating this gorgeous bangle. And no, I don't know Nikki at all, I stumbled across her site a while back after a girlfriend told me about it

It arrived a couple of weeks ago, and it is even more beautiful in reality than it is in the above photograph. And now that I'm all prepared with raffle tickets and such, I shall start the raffle. Tickets will be $1 each and I'm going to draw the winner on the 28th of April, six weeks from today, which should give me lots of time to sell tickets and raise $$. For those of you who are local to me, see me to buy tickets. I'm sure we could even work something for those of you who are not local, if you would also like to buy tickets.

If you'd like to see more information on the bangle, click here. (The star design is the default, but the heart one is there too, and the different price is in the drop down menu)

Now, the next thing I want you all to do, is to go over to the website for Oh My Giddy Aunt (isn't that just the prettiest name for a jewellery shop?) and have a shop around. Because not only is Nikki an awesome generous lady, but her jewellery is DIVINE! Really pretty, special stuff that is just delicious to own. I have one of her chime ball necklaces, which is so tinkly and gorgeous, I wear it a lot.

The extra bonus with Nikki's jewellery is that it is presented so beautifully when you receive it. Right down to the groovy handwriting on the envelope, soft purple tissue paper, little ribbons and boxes and hand made gift tags. When I received the heart bangle in the mail, it came wrapped up with this mega cute little fairy on a stick:

Everything about Oh My Giddy Aunt has a lovely personal, hand-crafted touch that is not only a delight to receive, but a delight to give too.

She has keepsakes, charms, gifts for children, bespoke fine jewellery, lockets, all kinds of beautiful pieces.

If you're looking for a gift for someone, or to spoil yourself, this is the jewellery store to go to. You'll be supporting a generous, open hearted lady who offers beautiful products and fantastic service. That's the kind of business I want to support.

http://ohmygiddyaunt.com.au

Thankful Sunday

2009-03-15T19:14:00.003+10:00

Is it really Sunday already? Another week of my holidays has passed so quickly. Why do work weeks not pass this quickly?

Let's see, what am I thankful for this week?

Well, I've had a really mellow week, just chillin' and enjoying my holiday. I've been feeling so relaxed and mellow, it's done me the world of good.

I'm also thankful that I got to go and see Watchmen on Friday with my friend Kylie. It's a bit hard to follow (as was V for Vendetta for that matter) but really enjoyable. Awesome costumes, well cast, a good meaty story (around the bits that lost me a little) and great sets and special effects. Plus hanging out with Kylie is always cool too.

Friday was a big day, because I also went out to see Adam Hills on Friday night, at the New Farm Powerhouse. It was the opening night of his new tour "Inflatable", and we were the second ever audience. Better than the first, because he was all warmed up for us. God he was funny, I think I burst a kidney. No really, I think I damaged a kidney laughing so hard! My favourite line from the whole night. It is thus:

"Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You'll get some but it will be rougher than you're used to."

Brilliant line Mr Hills!

Thursday Mailbag

2009-03-12T21:39:00.004+10:00

I had a bit of an idea for a regular blog post. I've always been a lover of anything that comes through the post. The REAL mail, that a man on a wee orange motorbike delivers from Monday to Friday (yes US and UK folks, in Australia we don't get mail on Saturday or Sunday) and that you can pick up and open and carry around. When I was a kid I always loved writing letters to penpals all over the world, and then I started collecting postcards, which I now have THOUSANDS of. Not just any postcards, they have to be ones sent through the mail. Either to me, or I also have some lovely antique ones that people have bought me over the years.

That got me thinking about how nice it is when you get something through the mail. Other than bills and junk and political crap touting for the upcoming election. I think, once per week, I'll talk about something nice that has arrived in my mail, and the story around it.

This week, I think the nicest thing I have got all week is a copy of Bill Bryson's "Made In America" in paperback.

I got this one through BookMooch (www.bookmooch.com) which is a website where you can register and trade books. You create an inventory of books you have that you're willing to give away, and you get points for each book. Then you create a wish list, and it costs you a point to "mooch" a book from someone. When someone mooches a book from you, you pay the postage to send it to them, and in return, when it's your turn to mooch from someone, they pay the postage to you. It's a good system and a cheap way to get your hands on books. I used to do a lot of BookCrossing (www.bookcrossing.com) but it was pretty random what books you could get, so I like BookMooch much better, as you create a wish list of things you actually want.

Incidentally, I love Bill Bryson's work. He's hilariously funny yet very humble. I always feel kind of warm and fuzzy while reading his books.

It's always a delight to get a parcel in the mail, but even more so when it's a freebie, and a book!

Sixth of the Sixth

2009-03-12T15:42:00.003+10:00

Another cute meme I found on Adorably Distracted today. This one is to go to my 6th picture folder, then post the 6th picture in that folder, and explain.

So mine is:

Which gives me a happy, because any excuse to post a picture of a shirtless William McInnes is a really good thing!

For those of you who don't know me very well, I am possibly William's biggest fan. Well, other than my lovely friend Barb in Florida. I have been a fan of William since I was about 17 or something, and I saw him in A Country Practice. His character married Kate the Ranger, and she had lots of babies breath in her hair. Then it was Snowy, Blue Heelers, SeaChange (which the picture above is from) and beyond. Will is so used to me turning up to every event he is at in Brisbane that he greets me with familiarity now.

And yes, I am the person who blogs over at William Watch.

Maybe you can do a blog post of the sixth photo from the sixth folder in your pictures. Or tell me about your favourite actor.

Interviewed Again!

2009-03-11T16:59:00.006+10:00

My online friend Robin of the blog The Kaleidoscope Kitchen, has sent me some interview questions to blog up. These are wonderful questions and it's a real challenge to answer them, but a good challenge! So let's see.

1. There are so many great things about you, Kath, that I can see from half way around the world, and that is why you are my only (exclusively) online friend. :) What is your favorite quality about yourself, and how do you or could you use it for good in the world? :)

I'm really touched that Robin feels this way. We've never met in real life, but I hope we do sometime in the future. Now, in answer to her question, my favourite quality about myself would be my big open heart. If you've seen my earlier post from back when I got tattooed again last July, I had a tattoo done of a heart balloon on my inside right forearm. The significance of this is that I wear my heart on my sleeve, that my feelings for the people I care about are out there for the world to see. I fall in love so easily, not just man-woman love, but in love with my friends, with pets, music, characters from books and movies and television. I used to hide that about myself, but now I have learned to love it.

2. What is your strongest held belief?

Hmmm... that everyone in this world has a responsibility to respect. Respect themselves and to respect others. That doesn't mean that you have to kowtow to people, but to treat them as you expect to be treated yourself. It's the old "golden rule" for me. Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself.

3. What is your greatest dream, and what are you doing to achieve it, or what is holding you back?

My greatest dream is to have a family. I'm not sure it's something that you can just go out and achieve, set yourself goals for. I think it's something that is meant to come to you, and it just hasn't come to me yet.

4. I personally love cozy comfort, and am comforted by Christmas, books, blankets, baking.... What is the most comforting thing in the world, to you?

I'm a texture junkie. So it's things with texture that bring me comfort. My pillow, the softness of my cotton doona cover, worn to slight fuzz. Oh and hugs from my big Canadian brother.

5. I know you love books, as do I. :) What is your favorite book, and what book has made the most difference in your life? And how do you think you ever became so enamored of books? And what in books speaks to you, and is so worthy? :)

My favourite book is Cloudstreet by Tim Winton. Every word is pure beauty, and when I have the Pickles and the Lambs I could never be lonely. They feel like old friends, like family. There is a scene when Quick and Rose first realise how they feel for each other that breaks my heart yet fills me with joy. I always read Cloudstreet like I am savouring something really delicious, like a ripe mango or fine chocolates, or a really amazing cup of coffee.

Books always held a safe place for me. I can't ever remember not being able to read, and I can remember further back in my life than most people. I remember the feeling of safety and escape and hope that books gave me when I was a kid and things were tough. When I was afraid, or lonely, or feeling that I would never get to a place that was better than where I was, books always offered me a road out of those feelings.

For me, it is all about character in books. If I can't fall in love with at least one character in a book, I won't be able to read it. I embrace characters in books like they are old friends (even with non-fiction!) and hear their lives like they are telling me their stories themselves. Setting comes next, I love to be transported into a book, but really it's character.

So What's the Problem?

2009-03-09T07:54:00.003+10:00

I have a question. Why are so many atheists so threatened by those with faith? Not all of 'em, but it seems a lot of them are.

Now let me preface this before I get down to the topic. I have faith. It doesn't matter what that faith is, I don't feel the need to share it, prove it, quantify it, spread it or evangelise it. It's mine, I'm comfortable with it and I don't feel threatened or bothered by other people having either a different faith or no faith. It's just kind of there.

It doesn't matter to me what other people believe, that doesn't detract from my beliefs at all, and I'm perfectly comfortable sharing the world with all other faiths and those who hold no faith. It's not a requirement of my belief system that everyone has to believe the same as I do.

So on to my tale...

Yesterday someone on Twitter asked an intelligent and respectful question to those who believe in God, I replied and an intelligent discussion ensued. Then the person asked the opinion of another Twitterer, and he replied with an answer so disrespectful and dismissive, full of attitude and sarcasm. The implication was that someone who had any kind of faith was stupid and poorly educated.

I don't quite understand why the attitude. Is it such a terrible thing that someone holds different belief systems to you? Does it lessen your atheism to have someone who is not an atheist in the world. Do you feel threatened by those who have faith?

Or is it the simple fact that so many of you feel that you're somehow better than those who do have faith?

I feel that if I were to hold the same attitude towards atheists that so many atheists hold towards those with faith, I would be shouted down for my narrow-mindedness and conservatism. However, it seems it's perfectly acceptable for them to hold that very attitude.

It seems to me, that to people like the guy who made the smarmy comment, they hold themselves above those with faith. What makes the likes of them more important than any other person on the planet?

Just some food for thought folks.

Thankful Sunday

2009-03-08T16:42:00.003+10:00

Since I've had a bit of a rough week, I've decided that I'm going to make Sundays "Thankful Day" on my blog. Each Sunday, I will think back over my week and talk about a few things that I am thankful for.

So what am I thankful for this Sunday? Let's see...

Firstly I am thankful for my lovely friends. As I said, I had a crappy week, and returned home on Friday feeling very blue, and quite low in the self esteem. Within 24 hours, all my lovely friends had boosted me up and made me feel back to my normal, upbeat self. I love you my friends! And a special thanks to Kylie B and Kerri for their texts while I was away, you saved my life girls!

I'm also thankful that I'm financially secure and I have a nice little flat to live in. I can't imagine how miserable I would be if I had to rely on my family. I'm thankful that I have abundance in my life right now, and that I can not only live comfortably but have some fun in my life.

I'm thankful for all the BrisVegas folks on Twitter who showed concern after I tweeted about being attacked at South Bank bus station on Friday. I was really pissed that nobody offered to help me when that bastard was abusing me, and that nobody asked me if I was ok even after he left (and I had called the police). But the Twitter community here in BrisVegas were amazing!

And I'm thankful that my friend Trish is on the home run of her chemo, and that she's been responding to the chemo so well. Four more treatments lady!

So what are you thankful for? Leave me a comment - it'll be good for you!

Guilty Pleasures... Or not!

2009-03-02T20:28:00.005+10:00

Over on Adorably Distracted, a blog I read regularly, she has a little activity of listing some guilty pleasures. I thought it was fun so I'll have a go. Here are some of my guilty pleasures.

1. Show tunes

I love a good show tune or musical. I can listen to them for HOURS. Either musical soundtracks, or just albums of show tunes. Particular favourites of mine are Michael Feinstein (oh how that man knows how to do an American Standard), early Rosemary Clooney, Little Shop of Horrors, The most recent Disney version of Annie (with Victor Garber and the delectable Audra McDonald) and anything with Barbra Streisand in it.

2. Mythbusters

I have a big crush on Jamie Hyneman. It's the alpha-male thing. And they are just so nerd-perfect.

3. Cheezels with pickled cocktail onions sitting in them.

It's a taste sensation people! And it needs to be the coloured cocktail onions. Red is best.

4. That's Life magazine.

Ok there are a lot of bogans in it. But it's entertaining and I feel somewhat less dorky when I read about the bogans.

5. Furniture stores.

I am a total texture junkie, I love all the fabrics and stuff on all the furniture. If you take me to a furniture store, it is guaranteed I will molest the furniture.

6. Stationery.

Pens, paper, diaries and journals, anything by way of stationery.

7. Margaritas

Lemon, lime, strawberry, mango... they're all good!

8. Diva

You know, that costume jewellery shop? For the non-Aussies it's a bit like Clare's in the US.

9. Reading blogs.

I have subscribed to over 500 of them, and am happy to subscribe to more as I find them.

10. Not feeling guilty.

I actually don't feel guilty about any of my pleasures. I refuse to! If I had a pleasure that was dangerous or bothered any other person, then fair enough, but these are my pleasures and I don't give a tinkers cuss if someone else thinks they're nerdy or daggy.

So... what are your guilty pleasures? What are the little things that give you a happy?

Holding Out for a Hero (or Trying to Be One!)

2009-02-28T13:17:00.004+10:00

Just a little blog today, a little something for those of you who read, and to keep current.

I am officially on three weeks holiday from work. I think I've kind've had a bit of an energy collapse in the past 24 hours, it's like my body has heard my brain say "Woohoo, I'm on holiday!" and responded with a very firm "Lie DOWN!!" I don't have a lot of energy just at the moment, and I feel kind of like I'm coming down with something, but I think that's just that beginning of holiday crash. You know how it is, when you push yourself too hard, and don't take your time, when you DO stop, you kind of fall over.

So I am going to listen to my body, have a little bit of a mooch over the next day or so, and not just leap into all of the fun things I want to do while I have some time until I've recharged a little. I need to stop trying to be a hero.

And on the subject of being heroes, I was faffing about this morning and found this cute website that you can make your own superhero. Check mine out...

Doesn't she rock that crossbow? Want to go make your own? Go to: The Hero Factory

Is Everything That is Good Bad for You?

2009-02-21T13:23:00.005+10:00

There have been articles in all the major papers around the traps over the past 24 hours, like this one from the Courier Mail. It seem some boffin has published a paper in the Institute of Biology journal stating that social media like Facebook and Twitter are terribly dangerous for us all, and that as a result, we're going to get cancer from it.

There was another one doing the traps a couple of days ago how a glass of red wine each day gives you a 160% higher chance of getting oral cancer. What?

What is it with boffins who love to come out of the woodwork and do a "study" on anything that we enjoy (red wine, chocolate, sex, social media, having a snooze on a Sunday arvo) and then claim it's all terribly bad for us and we're going to get CANCER. You have to capitalise it you know, cos it's all very serious and if you don't stop doing what you are doing right now, you're going to get CANCER.

Stop it. Seriously, whatever it is you're doing RIGHT THIS INSTANT, stop it right now. Or you'll get cancer.

Now I'm getting silly aren't I? But I'm just a bit over there being a huge kerfuffle in the "regular" media over what's going to give you cancer just because some boffin says so. The thing about the red wine giving you oral cancer? I know someone who died at 26 of oral cancer who had never had an alcoholic drink, a cigarette, sex or been on a social media site. She was just a lovely young woman who lived a very strict Christian life. How do you like them apples, boffins?

Won't somebody please think of the children!!!!

Back to the social media thing, boffin Dr Sigman claims that sites like Facebook are keeping us all at home sitting in the dark talking to each other on our computers, and that's bad.

Now I don't know about you, but since I started getting into social media, my "real life" social life has EXPLODED. I barely have a week where I'm not running around like a crazy woman trying to get to all of the social events, meet ups and gigs I've got planned. And where have I planned these? Facebook... Twitter...

Here's an example. One Sunday morning, I was slothing about in bed. I rolled over, picked up my mobile phone off my bedside table and sent a tweet to Twitter via text message. That tweet was "I feel like brunch. Toast is boring."

Half an hour later, my mobile phone rang. "Hi," said a friend "I saw your tweet so I thought I could pick you up and we can go out for brunch. I'm bored too." So off we went that morning to a rather lovely brunch and lots of chat and laughs together.

And that's only one example. I could tell you many, many more, from big organised events like Twestival, parties and dinners and such with friends, to one on one catch ups. Tonight I am going to a party organised almost exclusively on Facebook. Monday I'm having lunch with a friend, we organised it on Facebook. Tuesday night I have a dinner I'm attending that I heard about on Twitter, and taking a fellow tweeting friend with me. And that's just over the next four days, it goes on.

When are the boffins going to get that social media is not about social misfits sitting at home in a room lit only by their monitor, tapping away at one another. They need to understand that social media is a tool that everyday people use to connect with each other. And contrary to popular belief, it's not just the young that are doing it. It's been awhile since I've been a youth. My friends that use social media range from youths to those who are old enough to be my parent.

And I have made new friends through social media websites. Whether it be catching up with a like minded Twitter buddy for a coffee, attending a local group meet up, or conversing with someone on Facebook from San Francisco that I intend to catch up with next time I take a trip over to the US, social media continually brings new social contacts into my life.

One of the things I'm thinking is that we all need to let go of the idea that there is a virtual life and a real life, and that they're two separate entities. All of it is my real life, the same as talking to someone on the telephone is part of my real life. Social media are tools for communication. And people are using them to conduct their lives. Not to hide behind so that they don't have to live, but to enable them to live more fully.

Here's a little food for thought for you:

I Don't Need Filtration Thank You!

2009-02-20T15:02:00.003+10:00

So you know the Australian Government want to put a filter on the Australian internet right? Supposedly it's there to stop kiddie porn being available to the Australian public, but as there are all kinds of ways to circumvent filters (people in China do it all the time), it won't work because those people who want to partake in child pornography are crafty bastards right.

Instead, it will make YOUR internet painfully slow, block sites that are legitimate because they have one naughty word in them and besides, this ISN'T China anyway. This is Australia, a free country where the laws against kiddie porn need to be tougher and more comprehensive, not a filter put on the rest of us law abiding citizens accessing the internet that WE pay for with OUR money...

So here's something quick and easy you can do to help. Sign this e-petition. You don't even have to leave my blog to do it.

And if you blog, or Facebook, or anything else, spread the word. Cos trust me, your internet access will suck even worse than it does now if this goes ahead, and it won't even have solved the problem of child pornography.

Destroy them ALL!!!

2009-02-17T21:29:00.004+10:00

I witnessed something out of my own nightmares today, only happening to someone else.

I am on the bus. We are stopped in traffic. There is a small black hatchback car beside the bus. On the roof of that car is a MASSIVE huntsman spider. Google it, cos I ain't gonna post a picture. It was seriously bigger than my hand. This was my reaction, and I was safe in the bus:

The two ladies sitting behind me had pretty much the same reaction.
While we watched in our own little bubbles of terror, the spider ran all over the car, and eventually over the passenger side window, which caused the woman sitting inside the car on the passenger side to totally freak. It then ran down the door where she couldn't see it, and she seemed to settle down.
However, we on the bus saw something altogether more horrifying. The massive spider then squeezed itself in the crack of the passenger front door... INSIDE THE CAR!!
All of us on the bus near her start waving frantically and pointing and freaking out, making that scream reaction again, and she just smiles and laughs and waves at us all, completely oblivious to the massive evil creature from hell that is now crawling in to get her.
They then turned a corner away from the bus and we have no idea what happened from then.
All I can say is that I've twitched and freaked and been jumpy all day. I'm a total arachnophobe. If I had mine I'd wipe them all from existence.

Roses are Red...

2009-02-16T20:32:00.004+10:00

Well another Valentine's Day has been and gone. *Kath waves*

This is the first Valentine's Day since I have been conscious of the concept of Valentine's Day that I haven't been totally depressed. And it's been a single Valentine's Day for me. Not to mention the fact that I stayed home all day and didn't really do anything.

It goes to show just how much more at peace with myself I am these days. I used to measure my self worth by my status or activity on Valentine's Day. "I'm so pathetic, I'm single on Valentine's Day." Or "Why doesn't he show me he loves me more? I must be horrible." But this year I didn't feel that my being single and spending the day at home reflected at all on who I am. It was nice to send a few pretty things to friends on Facebook, but otherwise, it didn't really affect me much at all.

One thing I did notice though, was the number of people, and admittedly, almost exclusively women, complaining that their Valentine's Day was crap because their significant other didn't do enough for them on the day. Didn't acknowledge the day enough, wasn't romantic enough.

Now don't get me wrong, but isn't Valentine's Day a celebration and appreciation of love? Or is it an excuse to get the best goodies you can? Or the most elaborate gestures you can?

Shouldn't it be about celebrating and appreciating that you HAVE someone to love in your life, who loves you? Shouldn't it be an opportunity to take some time out and spend time together? If you're in it for the gestures and the goodies... do you really love that person?

I'm just askin' is all.

Interview Me!

2009-02-11T20:33:00.005+10:00

Over on Camels and Chocolate is a lovely meme called "Interview Me". I'm always looking for inspiration when it comes to blogging, so I've volunteered for Kristin to interview me, and she supplied me with these fabulous questions. So here goes:

1. You took a 13-week-long trip around North America and saw more of the continent than many people who have lived here their whole lives. Did you find the American and Canadian people and culture quite similar to Australia? What were the similarities you experienced? Total differences?

I was surprised at the differences. And different differences.

In the US, my sense of humour totally went over everyone's head. I would be roaring with laughter at something, but everyone would look at me like I was completely bonkers. Maybe I am completely bonkers? I was also impressed by the kind of formal politeness that American people generally exhibited. People didn't make so many smart arse remarks, and weren't so aggressive and pushy. A polite "Excuse me." is heard far more often there than here. Well, you hear it in Australia as an insult. EXCUUUUUSSSSSE ME! However, I did notice that on duty service people are generally invisible to most Americans. I was constantly surprising janitors or waiters and such with my chit chat or acknowledgement of them while they were working.

Another interesting thing I noticed was that cultures don't mix much in the US. Not in a nasty, racist way, but just because there are so many folks there, that you have enough people to have a doctor, or a plumber, or neighbours all round, of the same culture as you. And along I came from Australia, where there are only 20 million of us, so we're all mixed up and HAVE to be in contact with each other, and I would bowl up to an African American person, or a gay person, or a Chinese person, or a Hispanic person etc and start talking to them. I felt like they weren't used to having a white/hetero chick just start talking to them without being introduced by someone else from their culture. Does that make sense?

In Canada, the sense of humour is a lot closer to ours - or it certainly is in BC where I was. I felt more connected to Canadians in general, not that it detracted from how much I loved the US, I just felt a commonality. And while general Canadian culture is very different to ours here in Oz, they hang on to their culture in the same way we do. Both countries kind of revel in our quirkiness.

With the US, the similarities I thought were there were actually more superficial. Sure the music and the movies are there on the surface, but deep down we do think different and behave differently.

2. Did you have a favorite city from your trip? Somewhere you think is totally overrated? (You better not say San Francisco! HA! Only kidding...sorta!)

Ooh, I couldn't say any one place was the very bestest. I loved different places for different reasons. The most beautiful place was Gibsons in British Columbia. Good God that place was gobsmackingly beautiful.

New York City was the most iconic, I did fall quite in love with it. Chicago (and where I stayed with friends at Aurora) felt like home. I could very easily live there, I just felt like I belonged. San Francisco was SOOOOO much fun! I would love to spend much more time exploring there, and intend to return there before too much longer, as I have made great friends there.

I don't think anywhere was overrated, but I didn't go to any of the big tourist trap places. I was looking for "real" America, and I think I found it. The only bits I didn't really enjoy were Wisconsin, not because I didn't like the place (very pretty, the farms look like Fisher Price toy sets) but because the people I stayed with were... unpleasant. They made me feel unwelcome, and one of the women I stayed told me I was uncouth for using a knife and fork in the manner that I do (I think Americans refer to it as "British-Style" - with the fork tines turned down) however she and her family were so offensive one night at dinner I hung back and slipped the waitress a $20 and apologised for their disgusting behaviour. (The waitress replied "Oh honey, you were a darling, don't you be embarrassed for their behaviour."

Florida was nice but it was too hot. I went for winter and it was the same climate as summer back home!

A place that is underrated? Chico California. What a gorgeous little place!

3. Thirteen weeks is a long time to travel at once. Did you have any big self discovery throughout the process? Would you do it all over again if you could?

The whole time was a journey of self discovery. A couple of years before I was borderline agoraphobic, other than to go to work, I wouldn't leave the house. I had very low self esteem, and was so full of anxiety I couldn't meet new people through friends, let alone on my own. I discovered that people like me just for who I am. That I can make friends anywhere and everywhere. I discovered what was important to me back home too... friends, my own bed, things sweetened with REAL sugar (not that corn syrup crap), and things like good health care and a secure job! And being greeted at my first day back at work after 3 months by my friend LukeyB tearing across the office at the sound of my voice and hauling me into a huge hug, breathing "I missed you!" was the most wonderful feeling I think I have ever had.

And if I could, I would spend six months of the year travelling - the cooler months here, and then bugger off to the Northern Hemisphere for the shitty hot months of Brisbane.

4. Do all Aussies REALLY love vegemite that much? Or is it merely a ploy to get stupid tourists to consume something that hardly smells more appetizing than cat urine?!

And you've taken a good sniff of cat urine have you?

Yes we do. Of course, only we know how to use it. Everyone else slathers it on like peanut butter.

5. You say you're an Aussie who loves cold climate (is that even possible??). If you could had to live in any Northern Hemisphere country (near the Equator doesn't count either) full time, where would you pick?

Oh yes, I love the cold. Love it! Love it! Love it! I was as happy as a pig in shit when I was at my coldest. Of course, that is a given that I do have a warm home and clothing - I wouldn't want to have to suffer it if I didn't, because it's easier to survive in warmer climes with that kind of situation.

I think I would choose Canada to live. Mostly because things like health care, working conditions, personal safety are considerably better there than the US. But if Mr Obama is able to fix those things in the US, I would happily live there. It would be hard to choose where though. Michigan near friends there was lovely, and as I mentioned I really felt like Illinois was home. San Francisco was awesome but I liked the snow too much to live there. If I lived in MI or IL it would be central enough to spread myself out all over the place. But Mr Obama needs to fix a few things first. Health care first - I'm disgusted that people are not able to get medicine or treatment if they don't have money/insurance. That's just wrong.

So, the deal now is, if you would like me to interview YOU for you to post on your blog, leave me a comment (make sure you have your email address or blog link in the comment) and say "Interview me!" I'll send you some questions within the next few days.

Why I Don't Work In Customer Service Any More

2009-02-10T20:18:00.005+10:00

I've just found this brilliant blog. It is called Not Always Right, and it's where people can submit really stupid or rude things customers have said or done to them.

I've just spent the past couple of hours reading some of the latest entries and hurting myself laughing. Here are a few of my favourite gems:

Customer: “What time does the film start?”

Me: “The film starts fifteen minutes after the time on your ticket. There are fifteen minutes of ads and trailers.”

Customer: “No, I said what time does the F-I-L-M start?!”

Me: “The film starts after fifteen minutes of trailers, so fifteen minutes after whatever it says on the ticket. Your ticket says 3:30 pm, so the film would start at 3:45, okay?”

Customer: “Don’t blind me with science!”

Me: “Hello, ma’am, is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “Yes. I need to find a book on rodents.”

Me: “Rodents?”

Customer: “Yes, I have some little creature running around my garage and I need to know what it is. I think it might be a vulva.”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “You know, it’s small and looks like a mole or a hamster. A vulva.”

Me: “I think you mean a ‘vole’.”

Customer: “Oh right, that’s it. Do you have any books on voles?”

Me: “Welcome to ****, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a medium coffee with twenty-seven and a half sugars.”

Me: “I’m sorry, was that…twenty-seven and a half?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “You’re sure you don’t just want the twenty-eight?”

Customer: “Ewww, gross! That’d be too sweet.”

This is exactly why I left working in the library branches. I can't be nice to fucktards like these.

Will Somebody PLEASE Trust Me!

2009-02-05T17:43:00.006+10:00

Excuse me for a moment, but...

I need a little vent. Boom tish!

I'm feeling very stifled creatively in my work. It's not that I don't like my job, I LOVE it. But I can see very big holes in the way we are engaging with our customers, and it's in the one area that I am not only passionate about, but I believe that I am good at. In fact, it's in the one area that my whole job title is about... and that's digital media. Also known as social media or sometimes Web2.0. Basically it's all the stuff that we do on the internet today, most of which you will find connected to me right here on this blog. Blogging itself, photograph sharing, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, all that stuff. Chances are, if you're reading this blog, you're probably well immersed in it all.

I personally believe that while we're REALLY good at teaching customers new things, and REALLY good at expanding our customers horizons, we're REALLY bad at engaging with those that are already skilled and wish to be engaged with as peers. They don't need to be taught what digital media is, they already know. They don't need to be taught how to use it, they're already using it. And we're not in their world, or where we are, we talk to them in corporate speak, or as though we're instructing children.

Every piece of communication we put out to our customers has been marketed to the nth degree. There is no spontaneity to it, no warmth. It's got to have a "look and feel". Now while I think that is perfect for things like brochures and printed media (I know myself I can find something in my notebook or bag very quickly if it has a distinct brand look to it), it doesn't work for the whole online presence any more. If you are engaging with people via digital media, I believe you should be speaking to your audience as though they're your peers.

We don't do that anywhere. We're broadcasting, not communicating. Broadcasting does have it's place, but it's not the be all and end all like it used to be. Our culture is far more interactive and communicative than it has been in a very long time. And being broadcast to loses our attention pretty quickly.

Which comes back to my feeling stifled. I'm good at the digital media stuff. I don't mean that like "Well everyone, I'm an expert.", because I know I'm not. But I'm confident with having a go at it, and I understand how it works. I'm passionate about digital media because it's what interests me, and it's where I am. And in a sense, I feel like the customer that is being ignored.

So I have this knowledge and passion... and I feel like I'm not allowed to do anything with it. I keep presenting what I know after VAST amounts of learning on my own initiative, only to have it dismissed or fed up to the higher levels where it disappears in a miasma of workshops and focus groups, only to be spat out the other side as another piece of corporate "collateral" which totally misses the point.

I feel like I am wasted a lot of the time. I am earning a really good wage which I feel is being spent on me stuffing envelopes and cleaning up the database, when I could be of a lot more value for money if I was given something I could really chew on and trusted more. It's not that I believe that the work I am doing is beneath me, it's just that I feel that as a Band 4 I could be utilised SO much better.

Not so long ago my boss asked me if I wanted him to encourage me more. I replied "Well that would be nice, but what I really want is for you to discourage me LESS." But I'm not sure anyone quite gets that concept.

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is MY blog and the opinions expressed here are MINE and not that of my employer or any other organisation. If ya don't like what I got to say, don't read it!

Do You Feel Stimulated Yet?

2009-02-03T19:57:00.008+10:00

It was announced today by our Prime Minister Kevin Rudd that he is putting out another "stimulus" package to help soften the blow of the global economic crisis (which I'm not sure is as big as the media like to portray).

We had one just before Christmas where SOME of the population got a so-called one off payment of $1000 and were urged to "Spend! Spend! Spend!" Unfortunately I didn't see any of that money, because I'm not on welfare, nor do I have children that I can't afford to support. I would have gladly spent $1000, but despite my paying one of the highest ratios of tax in the country, the stimulus wasn't extended to me.

It pissed me off no end to trudge home from a long, hard day at work to see my dole bludging neighbours unpacking a massive plasma screen TV that they had bought with their payment. It pissed me off no end to hear two women on the bus discussing how they were going to buy computer games for their kids, when at the time I was finding money to buy a washing machine.

However, this time, one of the parts of the package is apparently another "one-off" (how many one-offs can they create? I thought the point of a one-off is that it is ONCE!) payment of $950 payable to all taxpayers who earn up to $80,000 per annum. I'm WELL under that, so it seems that I am getting myself $950! Not sure why we taxpayers get 50 bucks less than the welfare mob, but hey, I'm not going to sneeze at $950.

Of course, we're all being urged to "Spend! Spend! Spend!" again. I personally will be, because I'm a responsible worker who doesn't have scads of debt to rid myself of. My payment is earmarked for that iPhone that I really want. But isn't it a bit irresponsible to be encouraging those who DO have scads of debt to spend it rather than pay off their debt?

Some of the other parts of the stimulus package include:

MAIN POINTS:

* Tax bonus of $950 for those earning up to $80,000, and smaller amounts for those earning up to $100,000.

* $14.7bn for school infrastructure and maintenance and trade training centres;

* $6.6bn to boost public housing by about 20,000 new homes;

* $3.9bn for free insulation to 2.7 million homes and solar hot water rebates;

* $890m for regional roads and blackspots, railway boom gates;

* $2.7bn small and general business tax break to provide deductions for some equipment purchases before the end of June 2009;

* $12.7 bn for one-off payments to working Australians, families with school-age children, farmers, single income families and for those undergoing training.

(

Source

)

It's good to see money going towards schools, public housing (the rental market is obscene here at the moment), roads and railway safety, small business help and payments to working Aussies, farmers and those undergoing training.

However, WTF with the insulation for the homes? How is THAT going to stimulate the economy? They claim it's going to create jobs, but I can't see how that's going to happen. I can just see a back log of people waiting to get free insulation in their house. And what about all the people who can't afford the ridiculous prices to buy a house at the moment, so they have to rent (like me). Will our landlords be putting insulation and solar hot water in our
homes? I doubt it very much.

So if you're eligible for the $950 payment, how do you intend to use yours? Are you going to spend it? What are you going to buy? Or will you save it or pay bills? If you're not in Australia, what would you do if the government handed you $950?

Thinkin' About the Fellas

2009-02-01T22:34:00.005+10:00

I watched the Sex and the City movie this afternoon. Wasn't really that into it. I liked the shoes and the New York City bit, but I just couldn't get into it. On further discussion with the lovely Girl Clumsy this evening, I realise what has stuck in my craw.

It's the attitude to men in it. It felt to me that every man in it was either a piece of man flesh, or an arsehole. With exception perhaps to the dark haired woman's husband (I know, I don't know their names except for Carrie and Samantha) who really was a bit of a shadow through the whole movie, he had about three whole lines and wasn't given any substance.

It's got me thinking a bit about how men are portrayed in film and television. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that how women are portrayed is any better, but at least we all speak up about that regularly.

But when it comes to how men are portrayed, it is open season. How many ads can you think of on TV at the moment where it centres around a doofus male who just can't find something or asks a stupid question, or makes a big gaffe doing DIY etc? Can you imagine the uproar if a woman was portrayed like that?

When we see a movie and the women in it are all either portrayed as tarty bits of flesh for the men's amusement, or complete bitches that make a man's life hell, don't we all get horrified at it?

Now I'm not saying that all movies should be touchy feely and everyone nice. What I'm getting at is that when a whole gender is negatively portrayed, it just feels really wrong. Sure, have your bad guy, but also have the hero who helps save the day. Have your bitch queen, but have another woman who is cool. Go for the bit of sexy man flesh, but give him some depth of character. Make your gals sexy AND smart.

I'm also not saying that men can't be arseholes and that women can't be shallow bits of fluff. But to tar a whole gender with the same brush in a film or television show just makes me feel uncomfortable, you know?

I know ladies, I know, we've all been treated REALLY badly by a man or men in our past. Some of us in our very recent past. But does that mean they're all bastards? You know we all have heard the thing where women are somebody's daughter, somebody's mother, somebody's sister? Well the guys are somebody's son, somebody's father, somebody's brother. And like women, guys deserve a chance before they're all written off.

Two wrongs don't make a right is all I'm sayin'!

And Thus You Have My Sense of Humour

2009-01-31T22:43:00.001+10:00